What Can A REALLY Shy Person Do?. Please Help Me!?
Question:
Like me. For example Im really shy right? so for example Im going to a Party or somewhere where there's a lot of people... I start sweating everywhere... like, some people think im weird and i cant help it... Imagine somebody by your side sweating like an animal because of his/her shyness. to me its soo not normal because im young... i think im the only one in this world with this problem. please somebody help me. What im doing is really embarasing but... i have no other option. a lot of people laugh at me and I haven't had a chance to have a boyfriend... Im Tired... please I really really need help... and want god to bless all of you that answered.. please help me.
Answers:
Like everyone else said, see a therapist or a doctor. It does sound a lot like social anxiety, and they have medication for that. And some people, myself included, never will feel comfortable in crowded spaces with lots of noise and people. Shyness is incredibly common, especially when we are young, and not quite sure how we fit into the bigger picture.
But the older you get, and the more comfortable you are with yourself, the easier it becomes. Although the acting class I took was completely terrifying for me ( I mean at 24, I had an utter panic attack and forget every line in front of 20 classmates, and was unable to move. So you aren't alone). I'd suggest start a bit smaller. Find something you are a really passionate about, and join a group. Your excitement for that topic, can often overcome your shyness.
You should also keep in mind, you are probably over analyzing your actions and putting pressure on yourself to be perfect. Everyone else worries about looking silly or embarrassing themselves too. Try to keep that in mind when meeting new people, and remember we all have similar hangups about new people and situations at one point or another. And if they can't except a shaky smile, and an explanation that you don't know anybody, or do crowds well... you don't need to associate with them. Who wants friends (or boyfriends) that can't accept you for your quirks?
You may be experiencing anxiety. You should speak with a therapist, there is a lot you can do to become the outgoing person you want to be. They can help you figure out why you are feeling this way. The thing with anxiety is it could get worse if it goes untreated, or it could turn into depression.
Don't sell yourself short by being too "shy" to ask for help!
Seeing a therapist is a very positive experience for most people. I hope you feel better soon. Go find a therapist, you won't regret it!
Good luck.
I suggest joining an acting club. I joined one, and it made it much easier to talk to people I didn't know just by making me get up and talk in front of everyone.
Also, you are definitely not the only person with this problem. Lots of people, both female *and* male, are very shy, which is why I think at some point soon you will find the shy guy for you. When you go to parties, look for the other people hanging on the edges of the crowd who are not talking or being loud and strike up a conversation with them. You may find it's easier than trying to talk to the loud boisterous people who I know are at the party as well.
By the way, per that answer above mine, I did eventually see a therapist to help with this, too, and it did wonders. You have to do it on your own time, though, and when you are ready. Try to fix things for yourself first. If you feel you can't, then going to see someone is a great option.
You might have social anxiety. Maybe you should research it or seek a therapist. You may be making yourself worry even more because you are thinking about your shyness. Try not to tell yourself you're shy and just go with the flow of things. Try to talk to people more. If you think they're going to laugh at you, you'll give off a nervous vibe. As hard as it is, try not to think about being shy. Hope this helps and good luck.
Maybe you are not a crowds person? Do you feel that way when you are ina small group? I can't stand to even go to malls- yet I 'm fine in small groups-
Do you have a hard time talking to people? Or is it just the crowd situation? I feel really sick, shaky and sweaty in big crowds yet I have no problem breaking out stallions (training under saddle), or teaching classes. I'm in my 50's and I have gotten to the point of giving myseldf permission to be me!!
A party could have been a major challenge for you.
Talk to people e.g. a word or two when buying something small in a shop.
Sometimes you can even begin a conversation by a remark about the weather.
Persist.
Incidentally, reading a newspaper and / or watching the news on television can give you some material to have for the moment, until you discover confidence.
ps. Listen to people if they have something to say, otherwise don't. Sometimes ask someone a question about themselves.
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