How do I cope with social nerves?
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You've got to be honest with yourself about what is holding you back. Some people enjoy failing for the misrerable thrill of being down on themselves (think: masochists). If you truly wish to succeed socializing with others, try small steps: insert yourself into social situations where you will not be center of attention, like church ceremonies, ball games, etc. Become an anonymous spectator and watch how people interact. Then take it to another level by going places you may be asked to help out: volunteer and help others at soup kitchen or God's Love We Deliver, etc. You will see how people are more alike and more willing to accept you than you think right now. Be a part of life's positive forces and you will find yourself focusing less on you, and more on others. Your fears will fade away.
Good luck.
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See social anxiety, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris... on page 9.
Hi M! I can totally understand how you feel, as I have been there, and sometimes I still am if I don`t prepare myself in good time. I am aware of this problem though, and I am using the time in front of f.ex. a concert to see the fun it is gonna be, and by doing that, I get the stamina to do it, and the funny thing is, every time I do so I have a great time. So the answer is just do it, it sounds silly of course, but you are everything that controls you if you understand where I am trying to go. And if you do so, it will get easier for each time. And you know as soon as the circle is broken, you are free. And one last remark. Nothing is impossible, the impossible just take a little more time! so girl, never surrender! Have a great summer, good luck, peace and love from Norway
Hi,
This must be dreadful for you and the problem must be tackled sooner rather than later.
Speak to your GP who should refer you to councillor / health professional that can get to the root of the problem.
You may consider assertiveness classes that will improve your confidence.
Be positive.
Good luck.
A social activity with one friend is fine for me. Too many personalities is too much stress.
Not all hypnotherapists are the same.
It sounds to me like your therapy didn't did not come up with what you need to change. Are you shy? Do you lack self-confidence? Are worrying about what others think of you?
There are therapists that specialize in social phobias like Neuro-therapists and cognitive-therapists and use hypnosis as a tool.
It's not your nerves. It's how you think. It is the habits you have formed in your thinking patterns.
You can also start thinking how to change those patterns. Look for some self-help sites on the Internet. Here is mine.
http://themeaningisyou.com
Difficult one but try reading " Self Help for your Nerves" by Dr Claire Weekes. She is a very old-fashioned writer, her books were written years ago, but her advice is sound and helpful. Good luck.
The keyword is "trying" You don't try to socialize, this implies that you think there is a fixed way to do this and you must meet all the requirements. No wonder you feel stressed when trying to socialize. What you need to do is first appreciate yourself for who you are. You are a unique individual and there is noone on earth quite like you. Remember this when you interact with people.
Also you need to develop a genuine interest in the people you are mingling with, converting "Trying to Socialise" to simply making new friends
Poor you. I can understand a little how you feel although you have the problem much worse than me. One thing I find helpful is volunteering to help, just for one day, at a charity event like a fete or jumble sale. Firstly, it gave me something to do because I was busy selling jumble or making tea, so I wasnt standing around feeling awkward and not knowing what to do with myself. Secondly, it meant that I had something to talk about, ie the charity, so nobody asked me any personal questions and I didnt have to struggle to think of small talk. The reason I am recommending this to you is that every time you spend a day volunteering, it gives you practice in meeting people, without any social pressure. Hope this helps....
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