People always say, you can't depend on other people to make you happy..but i just can't do that...?
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I totally understand what you are talking about. People used to make plans with me all of the time and then at the last minute would cancel, something would come up, etc. Even now, I don't really do anything. When people call me to see if I want to do something or e-mail me, I'll answer them but I don't expect anything from anyone until we are actually doing it. Until I am actually going out with someone or even hanging out with someone, I don't even expect it because otherwise I get too hurt. It took me a long time and someone mentioned going to the drs. I might recommend going to a counselor if you have the money to do so (or if your family does). It took me a while to realize that others didn't realize how upset I was getting when plans were getting cancelled. When a friend would cancel something, my day, my week, a few weeks were ruined. She sat down with me and we sort of talked about how I felt, what I did, etc. I learned that more than anything I have protect my own heart (which I totally wear on my sleeve, as it sounds like you might as well), I have to do things and repeatedly tell myself that if something happens, it happens, but if it doesn't, if it can't, if it changes at the last minute, then there are things I can do. I can write, I can call a good friend, I can e-mail some people, I can journal, I can read, go for a walk, etc.
I know how bad you feel because I still do to an extent and oh I used to feel just horrible. I would suggest talking to someone but also k now that you are a good hearted person adn some times the ones with the good hearts get hurt the most. why that is, not so sure, but protect yourself. Know that if you set something up with your friend(s), more than likely it will get cancelled. I know that is a negative way to look at it, but if you mentally and emotionally prepared for him or them to say yes, and then back out at the last minute... it is better. Also think of it that if for some reason it doesn't get cancelled, how happy you would be.
I would say find someone (even a good friend) to talk to (online, even) about how you feel or go see a counselor if you can. If not, find ways to protect your heart.
be well and keep trying.
for one its like he his trying to let you down easy but afraid of how you might feel. I gave up on the person I thought was my friend because she has other people in her life that feel to me more important to be with then me so I just gave up in asking her to go out. she is my mom and she always seems preoccupied with her life even when I call her. so who care what the world thinks anymore.
Go to your doctor, this is not something you should handle by yourself. You could be suffering from depression. If you took anti-depression meds, that could get your self-esteem higher. As for your "friend", think of someone that you really like hanging out with like in your family, for example,maybe a brother or sister, an aunt or uncle, a mom or dad. Also, you should go to a psychiatrist or a counselor, they can help. Think of a sport you like, or an activity you like and then join a club, with your fav activity in the description. You'll make friends in clubs.
Hope this helps, good luck!
Honey if someone treats you like that they are not your friend. Try spending some quality tinme with family or just being by yourself. Go see a movie solo, or grab a great book or a gossip mag and head to Starbucks or the park. Take yor dog out if you have one. Start friendly conversations when you go out. The more you exert positive enerygy the more people will see what a cool person you are and want to be around you. Most importantly, surrond yourself with people who make you feel good, and don't put up with jerks that treat you like you are a last resort!
Go out and meet new people. Go to a club.
What is it that you want? That’s easy to answer because we all want the same thing: happiness. Since that’s the case, anything we willingly do that robs us of what we want (happiness) is stupid. ‘Irrational’ is just a polite term for ‘stupid.’ How often do we act against our own best interests? How often do we do stupid things? Part of being human is to accept that we are less than perfect and bound to make mistakes. However, whether we experience more happiness than misery, or vice-versa, depends on how we behave after making mistakes.
Whenever we do something stupid, such as arrive late at the office every day, we have a choice. We can admit our error, analyze what we are doing wrong, and correct our behavior. Or we can rationalize. That is, instead of taking responsibility, we may blame others, claim that it is not our fault, or insist that our actions were justified. Whether we are happy or miserable, then, depends on whether we live rational lives or lives of rationalizing.
"Recently, one of my "friends" keeps saying we can hangout, so I get ready. I go to my phone to call him and he has called saying we should do it another day. He has done this more than 5 times and it really gets me down."
Why would you continue to trust this guy after he's let you down over 5 times? That's just plain stupidity in my book.
" I just wish he would say no, instead of letting me down."
Have you ever heard the expression that "actions speak louder than words?" Now think for a minute, if he continues to let you down.why is it so important that he "tell you he doesn't wanna hang out?" He is already telling you with his actions Hun..Unfortunately, guys do not "express themselves" the way we do.So stop setting yourself up for another disappointment by asking this guy out again.If you keep asking him out even after he continually avoids you, then the message you are sending him is that you are totally desperate and have no self respect. why would anyone wanna date someone like that?
I'm sorry if this may sound really harsh,but I'd rather be honest and upfront with you on this issue. I hope your not offended and you can take something away from this response that may help you.
Good luck=)
hullo
it is not your fault that some people can not stand to their promise, all the same, a better choice next time might do the job, still you do not have to feel down, if you are good enough, then they have lost a good friend.
Dr solo
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