Going to see Dr in Aug very scared have ana (anorexia nervosa)?
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Having had anorexia myself, i can feel what you are going through. The first thing on your mind is whether the doc will take drastic measure to put on some weight on you. You also must have read hundreds of websites telling you that at your condition now, the body will take this opportunity to put all teh weight back on...ie more fats.
Anorexia is a disease of the mind. All this irrational thought which seem perfectly rational to you but not to others is driven by anorexia which really is a result of your low weight and cyclical thinking. Right now you are at a stage where anorexia is sooo strong that everything fall on deaf ears.
But really, deep inside you do want help but you do not know how to go about it...fear is killing you.I can only say that what you need now is trust and confidence in god and on your doctor. He is experienced and has handled many cases. He will know what to do. He would not make you fat.what he will do is make you look fit, hale and healthy. That is a far cry from fat. Also honestly speaking waht can sabortage this is you hiding facts about your condition to your doctor. If you feel scared tell him, you binged, tell him, you chewed and spit your food, tell him.he is there to help you all the way...remember there is nothing he has not seen or heard because you are not alone with this condition.
Trust me.it will be the best thing and bravest thing you can ever do in your life. This will be your greatest achivement..battling a mind crippling disease such as anorexia.you can email me anytime if you need advise or my experience on what i went through. my email is shamen001@hotmail.com..and by the way...I am a male who had anorexia.that would probably be something new u have heard but ana, it affects all genders.
If you're unhealthy enough that the doctor thinks it's a good idea for you to be in the hospital, you should be in the hospital. That's the whole point of getting treatment, to get healthy, and it sounds like right now you're refusing to do that. You need to go somewhere to learn to appreciate your body at a healthy weight, not learn how to avoid changing your unhealthy behavior.
Have you read the thin commandments or something like that? It sounds like you have. No one is making you go to the doctor are they? Cause if not then just not go. But if they are just gain the weight and then after the dr. appointment just take it back. If your skin gets paler than start eating some more.
Firstly, its ok to be scared. You say your bones are sticking out all over the palce and you are a little pale, and that may just be your type of body, but I know from weighing very little most my life that it can be very dangerous. I never went as far as having Ana but I had friends who did, and it is way scarier than a doctor's appointment to realise you're dying and not care because you still believe you're too fat. You're panicking which is also okay and its perfectly normal, especially if you DO have Ana.. but see it this way.. a dr is there to promote health. The whole point of being thin is to be beautiful in your own eyes right, so ask yourself - ARE you beautiful in your own eyes, weight wise, and can you be beautiful without being healthy..? Ana is not a physical disease that causes others discomfort - its a mental switch that somehow got flicked where people simply do not want ANY body fat and become obsessed by it. It happens to really fantastic people and it happens to crappy people. It doesn't pick the winner, but the prize is always the same - death.
I wish you all the very best and hope i don't sound like I'm preaching.. just think "I want to be gorgeous, and happy" and put it out there, then let the universe bring you the people that will assist you in that. If you're thin and healthy, then who the heck cares if you eat more or eat less? But if you're FAT, Thin or SKINNY and unhealthy, you're cheating yourself out of GORGEOUS life and settling for mediocrity, at the best.
If the Dr. is going to hospitalize you, it is most likely for your own good. I know that you are probably tired of hearing stuff like that, but it's true.
If I was in your shoes, I would start drinking liquid nutrition drinks like ensure or something, so that you will at least be able to show that you are somewhat concerned about being healthy. I would also try to find out the core reason for you wanting to be abnormally thin. You can be thin and healthy at the same time, just as people can be overweight and somewhat healthy.
You must learn to love yourself, and take it in babysteps before you do permanent damage to your body.
Good luck, and I hope that you are able to sort this out.
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