What does it mean when you get angry because you want to change how people percieve you? like you want to?
Question:
im 30, have borderline personality disorder and have been victimized, and abused half my life and suffered alot of trauma.
and i feel enraged about this and do have a rage problem, that ive had for years..
im getting angry at the thought of me being percieved as a person to feel sorry for, whos different because of what ive been through and how bad ive had it, i feel angry at being percieved as a sad character...a victim..
and its like im getting angry because i somehow want to reverse the role of being a victim..
i live in an area that has loud, aggressive youths, that shout fight, act intimidating. have hoods on, and they hang around in gangs, acting like they own the street & there not afraid of anybody...& im feeling enraged because its making me feel like the victim again..& im having flashbacks to my traumatized bullying past...i dont go out because i no ill lose control of my rage & im also waiting for therapy
Answers:
I love how you know exactly how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way. I think I would do all I could to feel safer, such as self-defense, karate or other martial art, mace, etc. If I could move, I would.
Sounds to me like you are going to be just fine. I think your personality disorder is a normal response to what happened to you by the way, and not anything that won't go away. Sounds like the people who treated you bad had the problem and you just had a normal human response.
I think having more control and being exposed to less stress and fear would be nice so I suggested the martial arts. I think it is using common sense to watch out for the scary people and steer as clear as you can. Call the cops on the thugs and see what other people are doing to stay safe. Is there any way you can move to a nicer neighborhood?
Check out this site:
www.nononsenseselfdefense.com
From your maturity, I am confident you will go on to be a great success. I get what you are feeling and think it is normal and expected. Getting armed, staying smart, staying informed and being a success will increase your confidence and keep you out of harm's way. When I lived somewhere scary, I had a cell phone, a metal pipe, a buddy to walk with, and stayed off the streets at night. I took Tae Kwon Do and a self-defense course. It helped. I have been victimized and try to avoid it, but it doesn't make me a victim--it makes me intelligent and careful. I think you are on the right track.
Hope this helps.
Anger is something we don't manage as well as we need to. Instead, it controls us, and we use it to control others. Getting angry causes us to have a go at the ones we love- wife, husband, children and friends or maybe even people we work with. We do not stop to look at what upsets us in the first place. We get angry and upset without thinking. We feel guilty later and look for a way to cool down. Pls visitwww.cosmicrhythm.org
I think the biggest step, which you've already recognized, is that you have a problem that you are turning into anger or rage. No matter what the circumstances rage is not okay to feel over something because that means that you are losing control of your emotions. Are you currently taking a medication for the problems that you have faced in the past? If not, you may want to talk to a phsycologist and phsyciatrist. One of whom prescribes medication for imbalanced brain chemicals causing you to act incorrectly and one whom you talk to about the problems that you are having. You are doing the right thing by seeking therapy, but it may be more than that. When you have been victimized it will go with you for the rest of your life, it just depends on how YOU are going to let it affect your life. If people make you feel victimized then you need to tell them that you don't appreciate the way that they are treating you and that they need to stop. The problem though that you might face because of your anger about this matter is that you should ask them nicely, if you can, before yelling at them for it. Your matter sounds like it will be extremely hard to overcome, but you can do it! Many people need a medication to give them brain chemicals that have been destoyed by trauma, so if you need some don't feel like you have failed. I don't think that they have a "name" for what you are feeling except that you don't like it and you want them to change.
Wow, this is a tough one. I completely understand your feelings concerning the way people respond to the events in your life that has effected you in a negative way. I WAS a victim. I would become sooo frustrated with the "oh I feel so bad for you" and the "sorry, it must have been terrible", or simply feeling like they were handling me with kid gloves. All I wanted to do was forget it all. But listen, you can't forget, because it DID happen. First off, and I know this isn't easy, but you need to confront you demons. Those horrible memories of your past. Time is the only healer and even then you may live with them the rest of your life. Is there anyway to move from the area you live in? If not, is there a family or friend that you could move in with? Most of all, I think that explaining to your friends that it bothers you that they pity you or make you feel like they are patronizing you. You can do this gently, but in order to be able to control your feelings when talking to them about your frustrations concerning their pity, it has to be done when they are NOT in the process of doing it. Explain it to them when everything is going good...like when you all are just "hanging out". I really hope you seek the advice of a professional. I know it seems like an awful idea.but talking to someone who has no opinion of your situation, really helps. Good luck...you'll do great things.
It sounds as though you are angry now. When you reach out to others and tell them what you have been through the first thing that they will feel is sympathy and if they went through it also they will feel empathy. There is no way to get around them feeling sorry for you. It is a natural human reaction. The thing that you should try to work on is to channel your anger in a postive light instead of letting it build up which it seems as though it did. With your living surrounding you can either move or you can use what you have bee through as an outlet by accepting and realizing that you what you went throuh when you were over is the past. Kids will be loud, obnoxious and mean to other kids and adults now and that is something that you can't get around no matter where you live. Wearing hoods and jeans is not a sign of gang activity which is too often deemed as " gang attire". Concueling would help because you have someone to talk to that will help you overcome the obstacles that you went through. I have been before when I got overwhelmed with work and school and being a single mom. It's not a bad thing. Another you do is to research Borderline personality Disorder so that you will be informed about it and so that you can explain it in detail to those that you don't know. People look at me like i'm a thief or criminal because I am black. They assume that I am dumb when I graduated highschool with honors and from college with a 3.79. Just because I have a ebony shade of skin they say things and perceive in ways that I don't agree with but that is something that is bound to happen. Don't let it upset you rather use it as a way to prove to people that you are anything but.
Is there any way you can move to a more peaceful, safe area? Do what you can to remove stressors. Taking control by moving may help with not feeling so victimized.
I thought I wouldn't answer this question, but threw the day I thought about it.I have the BPD and schizophrenia. I live in a neighbor hood where some one wrote *** , again and again on my mail box ( even though I'm not Gay) and wrote things on my Van.
I do not have any one , save my cat.No one perceives me as any thing.I do not know any one.Further more I do not care what any body thinks of me.I know where I stand and who are they any way.
Many times, even at a young age ,I have picked up and left.Most often with nothing, just the clothes on my back.If things were to rough I would leave , just go.
I have been put away a number of times.Lucky I guess, in these institutions I meet caring people .They taught me how to control myself and my emotions.It took years and years but now I am in a place where no one has the Power to make me "feel" any thing or any way.I decide how I feel about things and that's that.
I do not know why you get angry when you want to change how people perceive you.This I know, I am good decent , honest person and know one, in the human sense is in a place to judge me, or is better then me .I am not less because of my history.
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