Why does my husband do this?


Question:
My husband and I are in our late 20s, and have been married for almost 3 years. He had one previous partner before we were married, and I had none.

I have a very high libido, and find that I am 'up for it' at least a couple of times a week. He always says that he has a high libido too (and promised lots of nooky after we were married, as we waited). However, it doesn't happen. If I am lucky, I get some twice a month (usually about once every three weeks).

HOWEVER, I find that he looks things up online (never hardcore stuff), and then 'pleases' himself. We have discussed how this makes me feel, and he always says that he'll stop, but he never does. He says he doesn't set out for the end result, but sometimes he just happens to get very aroused by what he's looking at. I please myself solo a lot.

My question is this: how can I get him to stop looking at these things, and to start wanting to be intimate with me? He says he still fanices me as much as when we were dating. Help?!

Answers:
Sounds like he has some deeper issues that he needs to resolve. Fear of performance, unrealistic self expectations, uncomfortable with body image, past rejection from his "only" other lover, and others can all play a role.

Most men will hesitate when the word "counseling" is brought up, but there are issues here that he may not be aware of and need resolution. Don't be afraid to state your needs in a firm, but CALM manner, and be persistent. I have had sales training and one thing we learned is that 80 % of the time, you must ask for the sale at least five times. There are few things worse than being stuck in a sexless marriage.
looks like you don't cut it anymore, he can't get it up...that's why he does it. figure out something new cuz it sounds sick....


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