Guys: Is it possible for a MAN to have 'fear of intimacy' or be so shy that he cannot or does not like sex?

Question:

Even from day one my boyfriend of over one year now told me he was nervous 'at first'... he really tried to avoid it... and was not crazy-horny like most guys, but still very affectionate. Often while doing sex he would 'lose his erection'... then have to 'try', which of course was making both of us nervous. At first I was too nervous to come... and mostly he has never come either... now he will sometimes please me... I'm more relaxed now, but sometimes he still cannot stay hard, and even if he does, he doesn't seem to 'want' to come... he NEVER initiates sex anymore.. never did much anyway. But now he is content, it seems, to NEVER do it, never kiss, etc... meanwhile, our emotional mental relationship is getting better and better!! I am confused! I said, okay, let's just kiss for awhile then... you can learn to relax with that. But he'll just make jokes... to avoid the topic. I am frustrated beyond belief. I can't 'talk to him', because obviously, this is a horrible topic for

Answers:
Maybe he feels inatquit about his body. Or he might be obssesed w/ the thought of not being able to please you. Also when I was alot younger I noticed if I masterbated alot that would effect me being able to keep an erection. He might do that so much that he can't be stimulated thru normal sex acts. Talk to him about it if he's comfortable. Hope this helps

Other Answers:
maybe he is shy and too brainwashed by religion imparted by his parents, I have friends that lived together for 4 years and slept in Different rooms they waited till they got married. So maybe you need to deprogram him to show him that is not a bad thing or something to be feared but enjoyed! Good luck, I was with a girl just like that....

My ex wife was the same way!.....it's much more rare for a man, though not uncommon! Hey,.....trust me, I waited patiently for years, for her to change, & tried all I knew to help her. It didn't......these types rarely, if ever, CHANGE. We're divorced now, and I am now in a terrific,(4yrs) loving affectionate, fulfilling relationship, and it just keeps getting better. I'm sorry now, that I wasted all those years, and it didn't end sooner. Yours will probably end sooner or later too!

it is very possible and not that uncommon. See if he will go see his dr. or talk to a counselor

well its probly come with his family or religion. its just the way he learned but yeah all you have to do is tell him its normall to be sexually active at ur age. forst tell him about masturbaiton and let him warm up to that.

The one thing I didn't see mentioned here was... he could be afraid to come out of the closet. It is not unusual to have this type of relationship.. and even have children from this relationship.. But may be too heavy into the bisexual area or, just outright gay. You may not appeal to him sexually!

does he have a small Johnson?...some guys have allot of problems that are brought on by mental stress about inadequacy
have u tried Viagra 2 get it up?...he might have erectile dis function and is to shy to do anything about it, and if you try medication for ed and it doesn't help u know its a mental thing...he is probably traumatized from bad sex experience early on in life or he grew up thinking that sex is a dirty thing that only sinners do, there are a million reasons people avoid sex, most guys just don't like to admit it...i am very sexually educated and advanced, and i am easy to talk to so most of the guys i know come to me with questions about stuff like that, and most of the time its just that they are nervous because last time they did it it didn't turn out well...so it is probably either ED or a mental thing...have you thought about sex counseling?...that night dig up the skeletons in his underwear and get the ball rolling enough for you to be able to climax during intercourse and get him to do the same thing

you guys need to go with a councilor and talk 'bout that... soem doctor might be helpfull but you will have to convince him.. ;)

Why dont you ask him if he's gay.

I suggest inviting a third person into your bedroom. Maybe if he can see how its done then he will learn what to do.

Good Luck

Maybe he's met someone else, but doesn't want to split from you ( doesn't want to hurt you? ).

How about getting with me instead? igloo_iain@yahoo.com

Where do you live?

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Guys: Is it possible for a MAN to have 'fear of intimacy' or be so shy that he cannot or does not like sex?

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