How do I ask my Girl friend to clean up after herself and help out with new home stuff?


Question:
We just bought a house together, I feel as if I'm doing all the work. She will only clean up or hide things if she knows people will be coming over. I love her, I need her to want to live in a tidy place. Anytime I bring it up she will state that it's not just her mess. Help!

Answers:
Make her a list of things she should do. Make a list for yourself of things to do too. Try to be fair with the amount of work. Post up the lists to remind her. Make sure she doesn't tear down the lists. Just do your lissted chores and leave her share of chores to her and don't do them. Be firm. Loving someone doesn't mean being weak, spoiling them or being a pushover. If you don't put down your foot on this matter, she will climb over your head on other matters too. Show her your leadership position and that you mean what you say. If she doesn't want to cooperate, use "tough love" , ie don't cooperate with her in things she wants you to do as a retaliation. If she is really incorrigible, dump her.

Other Answers:
Write a list of everything that has to be cleaned, then let her pick half of them to do. Even if she picks the easier ones, at least she'll be doing something.
If you don't make her do it now, you will be doing it forever by yourself. It is so much easier for two people to keep it tidy then for one, you do certain chores one day then tell her she can do them the next. Or she could have plenty of room to mess on the street.


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