Will he recover?

Question:

my son got up in my face (he is 10), and he told me to f*** off you f*****g b**ch, i had a knee jerk reaction and slapped his face.
have i damaged him, or caused him irreparable damage. I feel like an awful mother

Answers:
I would have slapped him twice and grounded him for a month.
I can't believe a 10-year-old could say such things to his mother!

he deserved it, and u did not hurt him, u taught him what happens when u speak to anyone that way

your son will recover from the slap, but if a 10 year spoke to his mother in that manner...well I think he has worse problems that
the fact that he was slapped. I think there is a bigger problem than this specific episode

Yes.

The question is not will he recover, but will you?

No, I don't advocate corporal punishment, but considering many fine
people have had a sore butt from time to time, its hard for me to say that
they will always suffer psychological aftereffects.

There are times when kids will do that kind of thing to just test you.

Not clear if you passed or failed, but at least now he knows you have
a respectable right hook.

You are not an awful mother. Don't make a habit of it. Recognize that
there is a violent part of you which needs to be kept at bay.

Also recognize that it could have been far . far worse.

He will recover, besides you did something that is for your child's own good. I mean who has a child at that kind of age saying bad words at their parents. Of course, people would say that the child is very naught and must be punished accordingly. So what you've done is for his own good. As long it is a slap from your body parts and not by using frying pans, sticks, bottles or any hard objects. You will not be convicted as a child abuser as long as you use only your body parts. You won't have any problem. Uhm, for your child to talk to you again, say that you're sorry, and tell him what wrong he has done.

I would have kicked his ar*se until he could not sit for a month. I think that you were too light with him, as for doing any harm, you have only helped to make him grow up. Wait until he apologises before you do.......

i applaud you! no son should ever talk to his mother like that and you shouldn't hesitate to whip his *** everytime he says it again. Make it so miserable that he will never say it again!

Good shot. now he'll know never to speak to you that way. If you ignored it, he wud think he got away with it and wud get worse.

Slapping his face, only convinced your son you are What he Called You!. No child, at his age, would speak that way to his mother, if: he didn't hear that language in his own home. Be honest with yourself, and look around at the four walls in which you are raising this young man. You know the expression - "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree"! Check out your son's friends and eliminate the ones that are "Street Bad", Check out what you son is doing on the computer, and what he watches on TV. Your child is very influenced by all these. Please remember, that your child's personality was formed years ago, by the age of 3-yrs. Look back to those years and start TODAY to correct those things you shouldn't have done. Bring you son closer to you, do more things together - even cooking - housework- busy hands don't have time to get into trouble. Check out what is going on at school - believe me - if he spoke that way to you at home - he uses those words and more outside the house. Ask your neighbours to tell you. You need ALL the help you can get, because the NEXT time, and there will be a next time - you may not get off so easy - this SON of your may HIT you back!Yes you have damaged him (but its repairable) and yes - you were wrong to hit him but now you MUST apologize and ask him to Forgive you. You made a mistake, so admit it and be a good mother from now on.

The reason why he used that language in the first place is beacause you haven't disciplined your child enough. A slap in the face has more of an emotional effect, than physical.

Apologize to him. Tell him that you won't do it again if he doesn't.
Kids swear these days. My son started swearing during adolescence and his sister (7 years younger) became proficient.
I try to remember to pick my fights. Do I really want this to drive
a wedge between us? Don't let it bother you too much. Just keep
on insisting that he respect your household and not swear in it.
Ask him if he really wants to hurt your feelings. It may mean never
again eating ice cream in the house. (Don't make it too severe.)
Or tell him the next time you think want to take him to the movies you may have to think twice about it. Let him know that there will be consequences. Does he get an allowance? -- Deduct a buck and tell him he won't get a raise for a good long time.

Don't take it too personally. It's his behavior that's troublesome and it just might be a phase. If it doesn't stop, seek professional help. Sometimes it takes hearing it from someone else to really sink in. Don't let it get over blown.

Did you cause him irreparable damage. Naw. You may have cured him of swearing!

He's fine. Just his ego is bruised.
You may want to talk with him about this once you both calm down.

No.but I don't think you did enough. Once he realized it was my hand slapping him, the next feeling would have been my leather belt across his ***.

You will do more damage if you do not discipline than if you do. One day he will try that crap with a real adult, and he will get his clock cleaned.

I DAMN SURE WOULDN'T APOLOGIZE LIKE THE WOMAN ABOVE SUGGESTED. She is probably one of these parents who belong to the "We don't spank..but in later years wonder why our child is a criminal" club.

It not a matter of damage due to slap only. Whats important here is that how come he grew up like that. What sort of training you and your society carried out of this chap. Slap will be forgotten in due course of time but the damage of the charatcter which you have caused him will nebver be recovered. I think not much is lost yet, please concentrate more on your kid's training and spend more time with him and do not let him roam with bad kids. Please try to make him a good human being. In my society you just cannot think of a child speaking to his mother or for that matter with any elder like that. Such society needs to be overhauled completely where teachers and parents do not know how to bring up their new generation. Please do not waste time and save your next generation from disaster.

There is no way a 10 year old child would talk to his mother that way if he has not been talked to in that manner. He heard it some where and if he said to you he certainly doesn't have any respect for you. He probably does not respect any authority figure.

I would talk to his teachers and people at school and explain to them what happened. Does he get good grades? Does he get in trouble at school? It sounds like you both need some professional help.

I would not have hit him. I don't think you caused major damage to him. I would like to know what prompted him to say that to you. What led up to it? Repair the damage now or he will be abusing you by the time he is fifteen.

the "person" who answered before me has no idea, obviously never had to deal with a child with such behaviour difficulties, those who have never experienced this should never try to make you feel bad, your only human, who does she think she is presuming to know anything about your life or what goes on in your house, know-it-all doo gooders should shut the hell up

This is a very good blog, a beginner’s guide to abnormal psychology.
Short, clear and simple; and you can even post your question and contact the author regarding particular subject you are interested in

http://sensitive-psychoworld.blogspot.co.

Will he recover?

Health Resources