Asking for help?
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I'm wondering if you really are a Navy officer. If you are you already know the proper channels and you were debriefed upon return to your unit. The military officers I know, ask for help when they need it. You have nothing to fear and you cannot be kicked out of the military for going to counseling. I have heard horrendous stories from men coming back from Iraq and a relative emailed me regularly while he was there.
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Honey you need to see a therapist. No answer you get on here is going to be enough, you may be suffering from some sort of post tramatic stress disorder.
Write about it hunni. My grandfather has PTSD and flashes back now.. and his anger just lashes out cuz he didn't get it out.. get it out now.. he drank it away.. and has issues now..
Ideally, you would be told to find a constructive way to express your surpressed emotions. But, considering what you have been through, you may want to see an actual psychiatrist, or speak to superior officer, the military is supposed to have counseling available. Good Luck.
all i can tell you is you need a friend. much cheeper then a therapist. you need someone willing to listen but wont mind when you decide not to take their advise. some time maybe go into chat find some one willing to listen. it wont solve your problem but might make you feel better. i may not of been in iraq but my life in its own way is about the same. so i know how you feel with trust. if you need to talk im here to listen.
I also have problems telling about what bugs me. I now will go for a ride in my car and talk and talk about what bugs me.just to get it out. I also write in a journal..that helps most of all. It is like I am telling God what I am thinking..
Obviously, you need to talk t a professional person, maybe you can find a therapist with some kind of military background, who may have some kind of understanding/empathy for what you are going through. If you feel even that may be too much right now, write you thoughts down. just get some paper and write. Nobody needs to even see it, if you don't want.Your writing does not even need to be coherent, if it allows you some relief, it doesn't matter what it says, or how ot looks, or if it is easy to read.
Good luck
for me writting has always helped. try that. dont worry about spelling or anything just write and write and write. who care if it doesnt make sense. just write what you feel. not long before i got married i threw away 4 5 subject notebooks of just that from all of the years. i had kept most of mine, but you can throw away, burn what ever. best wishes. ( i also suffer from post traumatic stress syndrom.. i promise this really helps )
Start a journal.Write in it every day.Make the book your friend and shrink and let your pen guide you.Don't spell or worry about grammar.I notice that many times I don't even know what I have written and can often go back and read it for the first time.I find that I can identify with the person who wrote in the book.It is very soothing to know that one other person understands.Eventually you will accept that it is you that is doing the writing and the healing will begin
As a fellow soldier, and sometime student of psychology, I know what you're going through.
You need to get it out.
Talking to someone who is profesionally trained (psychologist, chaplain, etc.)to help you come to terms with it is probably your best bet. However its also expensive and a little uncomfortable to be telling a stranger your innermost fears and desires.
But even talking to a friend or relative will help. Often times we get trapped running in circles in our minds, and talking to someone else helps us see exits that we were blind to previously.
You mentioned a trust issue, so the final solution would be a diary. Its cliche, I know, but hear me out.
By writing your thoughts and feelings down, you will be confronting them, in a way. At first, it might be difficult, but if you keep it up, the words will flow more easily. In a year or so, go back and read what you've written, and I'll be willing to bet you've come a long way.
The memories will always be there. The guilt and pain will be greatly lessened, but never completely gone. However, the will not rule your life.
Good luck and be well!
Edit: If you've been diagnosed with PTSD and you're wondering 'if it really affects' you, YOU DON'T HAVE PTSD!!
you can talk to a therapist and not have to worrie about your trust being broken.. try getting some councling it will help. good luck to you.
I would say try writing about it if you don't want to talk about it. Then if that dose not work find a friend who will be willing to sit there and listen to you. You may need to get some pro help because that is some serious stuff. Hope everything works out.
It seems to me that you really want to express how you feel but you want to be able to trust the person you tell because you don't want to be judged or questioned. You want someone who will validate the pain and frustration you feel. Much of what your feeling can be relieved by expressing it, it is just finding the right person to let it all out to. I'm not sure if you like to write or maybe even type on the computer,about how you feel. This can be your first step on expressing your feelings. On the computer you can also make what you have typed secured with a password that way you can feel safe that no one else will read it. Ad least getting your thoughts on to paper will be a step towards seeing what you are thinking and getting it out of your head. Acceptance of the things that happened to you and making amends with it will come with time.
You are defently right. S--- does happen. Seriously though if you want rid of alot of the things your hiding in your head. Find a therapist who does E.M.D.R. look it up on the internet see if you are ready to do this. It is very effective for bringing memories out. Do this not only for you but for your KID.
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I've done E.M.D.R. the session will take a lot out of you. I always feel drained (tired) when its over.
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