Can an emotional abuser change with therapy, especially since he knows he has a problem?

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Yes, however, not usually with the same partner whom they abused. Generally if you are with an abuser, you create what is typically called a co-dependent relationship where each person unknowingly is drawn to and enables the other. It's like marrying someone who loves twinkies, and two years after marrying them, you discover you've gained 70 pounds! The relationship tends to support these ill behaviors and will naturally resist change. This is why when teens go off for "treatment" they often fail when they come home because their ill behaviors gave the family someone to blame problems on. Once we, as individual people experience change, especially positive change, it is often difficult for those around us to support them and accept them, especially when they have their own issues to develop through. And this is what I hear in your case. The fact that you have stayed with an abuser for a long enough time that you are considering sticking with him through the therapeutic and healthy process of change, says that you have some issues of your own that may need to be explored. For example, if he was abusive to you how were you able to allow someone to treat you like that for so long without leaving, retaliating or standing up for yourself? Perhaps you have some hard questions to ask of yourself, just like he has to ask of himself. Another suggestion might be to remain friends who support each other's personal growth, and if in the future, the health and positive change in you both is able to support and nurture a healthy relationship, then consider rejoining in a closer or more intimate relationship. I strongly believe that it takes a really special person to be able to deal with person issues and also maintain a healthy and stable relationship at the same time. Sometimes you need to take a break from providing for someone else, and use the time to focus your energy on yourself, so that you can be better.

Other Answers:
Yes, therapy is effective for a wide variety of mental disorders. Good luck.

only if he choses to. Remember, you cant change him or make him want to change. The best book you could read on the subject is The Verbally Abusive relationship. It goes over all abusive relationships. Very good book.

People do and can change any abusive behavior. The key is "admitting" you have a problem and being willing to seek the help necessary. In the mean time those being abused really should, in my opinion, take themselves away from the abuser and seek counseling of their own. Don't fall victim to the "I promise to change" and the "it will never happen again routine." Your own mental health is at stake. Also realize that often times emotional abuse turns physical. Don't risk it. If you have children that's even more reason to get out. There is nothing wrong with loving someone who's abusive but sometimes we have to love from a distance until it's safe to return. Take care of yourself first and tell this guy that until he's serious and ready to tackle his issues your not going to put yourself or anyone else at risk. Best of luck

Rod.

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Can an emotional abuser change with therapy, especially since he knows he has a problem?

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