How to get over name calling?

Question:

I went out with my last boyfriend for 3 months and broke up with him 6 years ago. He never ever meant to hurt me or my feelings, but he grew up calling people names (even his own grandma) like freak, weirdo, and retard. He was basically belittling, but like I said, never meant to do any harm. I have had no way to escape it though, even though I got him out of my life, my two kids 18 and 8 say at least two of the words every single day, either to me to push my buttons, to each other, or simply within a conversation with their friends. It brings it all back, and I really mean EVERY SINGLE day. I gained at least 40 pounds, while he lost that much from the devastation of me breaking up with him. How will I ever get over it when I still hear the words daily? They have Tourette Syndrome so even trying make them stop, it is simply force of habit for them. To make it worse, I have no desire to go out with another guy ever again for fear of the same thing I guess, and look bad w/ weight

Answers:
You have a difficult situation because everyone is unique, I cannot tell a way that would work for me for example and expect it to work for you, it may and it may not, but there is no guaranty. I highly suggest therapy, one on one if you can get it. Somebody needs to evaluate who you are and how you approach things and try and figure out why this is effecting you so strongly before they can help you, over the net simply will not work You should not be going through this and there is a better life for you, but you have to tale the first step and find help, but this is not the place. If you are unfortunate enough not to have health insurance that will cover psychiatric care, try self help books and a lot of times you will find clinics giving out free assistance to test their drugs. Now the drugs are usually worthless, but you still will be talking to doctors and that is what you really need, to get your foot into the door of someone who can help you.

John B.

Other Answers:
Hey those people who call names can ruin lives, try telling your kids that people have feelings or maybe you can call them something only you know is wrong with them and if they get upset then tell them thats how other people feel. when it comes to you the names he called you were intended to put you down, but you have him no more you might be overweight but you must use those bad words that were said and change them into the reason you must succeed. you are beautiful in your own way if you are determined to loose weight then you go for it but don't succum to the old demons, small healthy meals, main meal at lunch, and be active and i know depression you vertually have to peel yourself out of bed to begin the day so do it!! theres someone out there that will think you are the most beautiful thing they have ever seen, if you do start to loose the weight you might not notice it at first but when you do you will radiate happiness and that will make you more appealing. when it comes to your kids warn potential partners of their behaviour and see a doctor and try to get their behaviour under control. Ever since i was thirteen i have had bad stretchmarks on my bum and as i hit eighteen they started to go down the back of my legs (never been overweight always been underweight since a child)anyway and when i got with my boyfriend i told him my bum looks like a zebra's bum he wasn't fussed he told me that my bum wasn't his main concern it was my personality. good luck stay positive.

Relate to God emotionally in these ways:
Forgiveness - I think about the people that have affected me negatively and tell Him that I forgive them and ask Him to help them not to do those things again.

Wow, I will pray for you and your family. I hope that you understand that you cannot make a child with Tourettes control their tics and vocal tremors. It is very important to make sure no one is disciplining them for things that are out of their control. You need to diferentiate what is a tic, and what is behavior choices. That is not to say that they should not control themselves in all other respects.

As far as dating or whatever, that is not the most important thing in the world and not something to beat yourself up over. The best thing you can do now is to educate yourself as much as possible about Tourettes from your Neurologist. Mostly for your 8 year old. Do the best you can at raising him. This takes a great deal of patience and I am speaking from experience.

I used Weight Watchers and lost 40 lbs. It took about a year and you have to pay a weekly fee at meetings (which I did not like). The key to weight loss is not a specific diet or plan, but you must have the will to want to lose it. Mind over matter, really.

Best wishes to you.
Source(s):
Mom of son with Tourettes.

Let it go. The past is past. Since they have Tourette Syndrome you can't hold that against them. You have two kids you have to be healthy and take care of. Be content with what you have and with yourself. Sometimes we have to face our fears head on so start a healthy diet and start walking or some other form of exercise and you will feel better and look better. Do it for yourself then if you decide you want to go out with another guy well go, but you may figure out, like a lot of other single women, that you like not having to put up with a man. Well, good luck and God bless.

Firstly, don't worry about your weight, most people gain weight in unhealthy relationships.

I would suggest going to your doctor to talk about how you're feeling, or talk to close family or friends, it will help to lift some of the
The main thing you need to concern yourself is with your self-esteem. that guy is worthy of no-one, don't defend his unacceptable behaviour, remember that you're better than him. find something little that makes you relax and you can do in public, for example, some people find it comforting to make circular motions on the inside of their wrists , or to close their eyes and picture a place where they felt calm. practice doing this when in your room with no distractions and when your children say the words that bring the memories back then do what relaxes you. Stand there rubbing your wrists or with eyes closed and stay like that until you feel calmer.

don't ask me i have the same problem

it was a very unhealthy relationship and you need to understand that. Learn to associate the words you hate with the love for your children! then they won't bother you! Hell do 5 pushups everytime you hear the words or get up and walk around your bound to lose the weight.

you are suffering from the effects of verbal abuse I would contact a counselor who can recommend a doctor who can prescribe anti depression medicine for as well as give therapy this condition can be diagnosed as acute stress disorder or major depression both of which are paid for by most major insurers if this is not possible try to find a local clinic that offers free counseling or talk to your clergy of choice
Source(s):
I have a masters degree in counseling

You should talk to someone who cares about you about this problem. That way, you can be happy again.

Wow. First of all- some behavioural work can be done with kids with Tourette's. Second of all you need to practice some self-care. If you can connect with an agency for kids with disabilities you may be able to access funding for respite care so that you can go out and take a break from your household for a while. Don't worry about dating, look after yourself. When you feel good about yourself, you will attract someone who holds you in high regard.

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How to get over name calling?

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