situational Erectile Dysfunction question?

Question: I'm 42, gay male, but this problem may apply to any guy. I've had problems with ED for years. I can be VERY aroused, but for the longest time, I could not have a consistant erection with a partner, and the more I worried about it, the more it was a problem. Masturbation was always great, and ED was never an issue there. 5 years ago, I met the guy I live with now. with him, it's never an issue, and a part of me thinks, I'm still with him because ED is not an issue.
I've had problems twice in 5 years, but I was really exhausted, and blame that, since otherwise there's no problem.
I've seen a shrink (several) but they tend to say, if it's not a problem now, don't worry about it now, but I'd really like to know that if my relationship were to end, I'd be able to function with someone else.
any ideas?

Answers:
I get situational ED with my wife. It sucks, I'll tell ya and I bet you can agree. I read a thing the other day on web md (because I am scared of ED too) that said that sleep and stress has to do with it. Maybe your just more comfortable around your lover now, and it keeps your stress levels low, and your other lovers caused you more stress. I think that if its not a physical problem with you, it is obviously a mental thing, so you would probably fit into this area of stress and sleep.

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