I have a little problem concerning my job?
Question:
Answers:
Oh, Kit, I am so sorry to hear you are going through this--it all sounds so familiar because my husband went through it, as well.
First, please ask your doctor if you can have an epidural or other type of spinal block injection. Epidural is the common name here, and it actually refers to the space where the injection goes--it's the one they give to pregnant women to control pain during delivery, and it's given fairly low on the back, in the spine. My husband had to have those to try and help control the pain in his back, which was practically paralyzing him. He said the needle going in hurts like the dickens, but the relief is almost immediate. He didn't get the longer term relief that most people get, but he did get some. Many people report seriously reduced pain for up to several months--when I say seriously reduced, I mean the type where the remainder can be taken care of with muscle relaxers and over-the-counter painkillers.
Second, please ask for a medication like Zanaflex (tizanidine--don't know the name of it in Oz, but that generic name should help you out), which controls muscle spasms but does not have the CNS depressive effects of the benzo family. Valium is a wonderful drug, but for some people, it can make their depression worse. There is an awful circular cycle which takes place with those who have chronic pain--the pain leads to depression, the depression changes the brain's chemicals, the brain becomes even more susceptible to pain, the pain leads to depression, and on and on, forever.
Third, please reconsider prescription painkillers like Codeine, at least until you can break the pain cycle. It is well known that chronic pain changes the neural pathways in the brain, and stimulates the creation of new pathways which respond to pain. Chronic pain which goes untreated for too long becomes resistant to treatment because it stimulates pain receptors in the brain so they are on hyper-sensitive status at all times. I know you don't like the idea, but please talk to your doctor about a controlled release narcotic, like OxyContin (afraid I can't remember the generic name on that one). It does have the potential for abuse, which has made it almost impossible to get here in the US--people grind it up, which takes away the time-release mechanism, so they can get the full hit of the drug. When used appropriately at a maintenance level, however, it controls pain very well, and after a few days, it will not make you loopy at all--it will simply help control your pain. As an alternate, ask about pain patches--morphine is a common one here. Yes, they do make you loopy at first, but again, with proper dosing, that goes away, and so does the bulk of your pain. If you are very careful, you will not get into a situation where you are hopelessly addicted, though you will need to be eventually weaned off of any medications like that to keep you from having withdrawals.
Fourth, talk to your doc about the antidepressant you are on. There are actually some newer ones which help with chronic pain. Additionally, some of the oldest ones, the tricyclics, are being used for more often here in the US for pain than they are for depression. Here's a quickie link I found about them:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/pain-me...
Additionally, the meds you are taking now should be helping your feelings of depression, not making it worse, or allowing it to stay bad--antidepressants are like shoes, and sometimes you have to try on a lot of them to find a good fit that serves your needs and makes you feel better. Also discuss talk therapy with him. No amount of medication is going to help you with some of the issues you are having, like the self-esteem problems. A good talk therapist can help both support you and give you some good skills to help you along until you begin to feel better in general.
Fifth, if you have a way to pay for it, consider surgery. I know the concept of back surgery is frightening, but my husband finally had to have it for his lower back, and the back pain and sciatica are gone. He actually had to have a fusion (L5-S1), so he does have a bit of pain from loss of flexibility, but the really significant pain is gone. There are also a lot of advances in back surgery, so fusion is not the only answer. They have procedures where they take donor tissue from elsewhere on your body and shore up a bad disc. Consider and research all options before writing it off.
Do proceed with looking for other work. If you can get a job tutoring, that's super. Also, have you considered teaching? I don't mean the kind where you teach school, but rather the kind where you teach English to immigrants. It used to be a strictly volunteer basis job here in the US, but many people have hooked up with organizations which strive to make the move to the US easier, so they actually get paid to teach English. I don't know much about the immigrant population in Oz, but if it's anything like it is here, there may be a job for your in there somewhere. Also, since you have worked with plants for so long, look into working with a professional landscaping firm, or even an interior/exterior designer. Many of them know what is aesthetically pleasing, but have zero knowledge about what actually works in a given climate, or in a specific type of soil, or what plants work best with others. Take a good hard look at all the things you have done in your life, and you may find that you are qualified, or very nearly qualified, for more jobs than you think. You may find that six months worth of specialized training will make you eligible for an entirely new career--yes, the six months of training will be hell, and difficult going, but the end result could be excellent.
Please know that I am thinking of you, and hoping for the best for both you and your wife. You know where to reach me if you just want to talk, or want to bounce ideas off of someone.
Be well--I mean that most sincerely.
I'm not entirely sure what your question is.
If you find you are not able to do your work anymore, you should apply for disability benefits. It's better to stop than make an already back back worse.
As far as the depression goes, it's not uncommon for those with disabilities (even minor ones) to experience some form of depression. You are not alone. It is important to let your physician know these feelings so he can arrange some counseling. Anti-depressants alone rarely make anything better.
Good luck to you.
to tell you the truth dont have any experiance of beeing in a situation like yours. but heres some thing that might help.
4 ur stress try meditating while listening to a sounds of nature CD. just let the music take you away in to a relaxing state.
and 4 ur back pain you can try some of those foot pads. you can buy a good pair a walmart for about $5. they help with your posture to keep your spin strate.
and try telling your wife as much as you can that you love her. not that im saying you don't. but dose make a diferance. it show that you acknolage her
and finaly
you are in control of you own destiny if you chose to be depresed then you will be.
and try to trust people just a little bit more. not every one is bad.
i hope this will help.
sounds like all that medicine is making you where you want to sleep and you also still sound very depressed. try for workmans comp or disability, as you need to be able to take it easy with your back. the job you have is not helping at all. you say your wife is disappointed in you, which is not right, as it could be her and not you like this, and would she want you to feel that way about her. you are not a half man cause you are in pain. you say you want to be liked. places now in days are nice as long as your well, , but once you miss time or have a injury they get ugly. you are on alot of medicine. go back and see your dr and see if it can be adjusted, where you won't be so sleepy .
I have been in a similar situation of being in too much pain and too physically limited to even think about working. You definitely NEED more sleep with the kind of pain you describe. Living your life in misery to please another is no way to live. First, you may have to take a leap to start with your needs and put yourself first. Give your wife the affection, but consider steps for your own day to day living that will decrease your pain and give yourself something to look forward to.
I know that because of masculine pride it is different for you than for me. Men surely have much greater need to carry the ball for others in their lives. But I was accustomed to being physically active and felt like half a person not being able to work or join in helping out others, so I know that horrible feeling of the way pain and limitation sucks away pride.
I got on disability and it began to ease the stress. I had to get a lot of sleep for months at first, but I learned to focus on long term goals. It takes great patience, especially over fifty years of age. But barring death, you will be alive this year and the next, and making radical changes is always possible when you are going on twenty-five at heart. I started to make changes a few years ago. I am now fifty-six and work at home doing graphic design for a company on a Macintosh. I did have a stroke of luck being in the right place at the right time to get this work, but it still took patience and perseverence.
I know what it is like to have a bad temper also, and that is something that takes a great deal of mind over matter to overcome.
I must stress that the changes will come very gradually. It seems like you truly need to put aside what others think (I surely had to) and let yourself get an income that will at least enable you to have something coming in to accomodate taking your time for other options.
It truly seems that your best recourse is to get disability. If you can't get Social Security from work, you can get Supplemental Security, SSI. Just knowing that it is a steady income to tide you over can help you relax while you check out other options for making money from home. Not having a forced schedule and being able to rest more can help you to develop the strength to get away from the heavy medication. But YOU would have to LET it help you.
Of course, I don't know the dynamic between you and your wife, but being open with her while working to find your self-esteem from within instead of from what you can do may go a long way toward strengthening the two of you as a unit.
Well, advisory from a stranger is always tenuous, but I hope this might give a little something to go on. Best of great good fortune!
More Questions & Answers...