Is there anything I can give my daughter at night to get her to get to sleep?
Question:
I have tried keeping to a routine, giving her milky drinks (small ones) and everything else in the book!
Is there a natural remedy I can give her to help her sleep? - I'm getting desperate!
Answers:
I found that Badger's Sleep Balm works wonders with my daughter, she is also nine. She had trouble sleeping after we moved here three years ago, it was much quieter, the room much lighter, a new house and all the upheavals that come with that. She used to go to bed at 7:30 but not sleep till after 11. I found this stuff in a local Chemist, though some health food shops probably do it too. It is called Badger's Sleep Balm, or Badger's Sleep Remedy and comes in a little round tin like vaseline lip balm. It has Lavender, Camphor and something else in it, you can smudge a little under her nose, or on her temples, even on her lips. It worked so well that my daughter only needed it for a few nights before she was sleeping without it, but sometimes asks for it, just because she likes it. Its about £4 or £5, maybe larger Boots stores would do it.
I also found that putting a pretty glitter lamp on, the other side of the room worked well and having all toys and things tidied away so there are fewer shaddows to play on her mind. Stop her from watching telly at least an hour before bed and no sweets or sugary drinks for a good two hours before bed time. A healthy balanced diet and plenty of excercise to wear her out will also help. I let my dauther read for a while before she has to have the light out, as this makes her drowsy. Then I go in, turn the lights out, put the glitter lamp on and say a prayer with her. We are Christians, but even if you don't believe, you could ask the angels to look after her and the family while she sleeps and get her to get involved. It is amazing the things they will tell an angel or Jesus, or even a cuddly toy that they don't think of telling us, and we don't know how to ask, you may find her fears lessen after this, however, try not to get involved in long conversations about issues that may come up when she is "praying", save them for the next morning.
You say she is generally disruptive, which could in part be down to her lack of night time sleep,or even a food intollerance, so it may be well worth getting her allergy tested. Also, you say she is worse after bedtime, so it will have to be down to you to be tough on her, however exhausted you are. In the long run, it will be better for you both. Once you have put her to bed with lots of love and cuddles and a "prayer", do not, under any circumstances be drawn into a discussion, reassurance, an arguement or anything else. If she gets up, take her silently back to bed, kiss her and leave the room, do this 20 times if you have to, but do not talk to her, it works with toddlers, and it works just as well with older children. You must be consistent in this and it may take several nights, but once she learns she cannot get a reaction, and there is no point pushing your buttons, she will simply give up and go to sleep.
You could also explain to her that if she is disruptive at night, she will not get treats that she perhaps takes for granted, like sweets, presents, favourite foods, favourite telly. You will need to be consistent in this as well and stick to what you say, that way she will learn you mean business. She may kick like a mule and really throw a tantrum for a while, but it is really really important that you show her you mean business. Let her scream and shout at you, tell her she hates you, whatever, but I promise you this, when she realises that you are the boss and not her, she will calm down and her behaviour relating to bedtime and everything else will completely change. She will not hate you, she will love you for it, and you may find that you grow closer as a result.
Children need firm foundaries and guidelines and if we let them be boss and overcompensate for what we feel we are not giving them somewhere else, they can actually feel very responsible for us, and ultimately confused and powerless. You don't have to be nasty, just a bit strict and always, always stick to what you say, even if you think it is harsh. Explain why you do not like her behaviour, but always telling her you love her, try and get her to have responsibility for her behaviour. If she misbehaves, warn her she will lose a treat, if she does it again, stick to the threat and explain to her when she kicks off about not getting the treat that it was the direct result of her misbehaving that has cost her the treat. If she is really nice and well behaved, after losing the treat, don't give her the treat, thank her and praise her, tell her you love her behaviour, and give her something else if you want to, just not the treat you remove. Also make sure that you and her get enough together time during the day, even if it is only 20 mins, but just the two of you, even chatting in the bath, getting her to help with dinner or laundry, so that she is not trying to capture your attention at night, when it is just you and her, struggling over bedtime.
I am not telling you how to parent, believe me, just what worked for my disruptive insomniac daughter, and no, counselling didn't help her either. The best things were the prayers and her knowing that I was boss, stuck to my word, and that therefore she was not responsible for me and was not unsafe. But that Badger Balm stuff is so soothing, and aromatherapy works so well. If you really cannot find it, try some lavender bags hung up near her bed head or lavender essential oil on the underside of her pillow.
All the above sounds harsh, but it will really help to modify her behaviour, particularly around bed time. I wish you all the luck, whatever method or help you go for and hope your daughter's problems are resolved soon, you must be shattered. I hope you don't think I am judging you, it is just so hard to do everything in this busy world, particularly if you work and have to run a house as well and are just so tired yourself. Good luck, God bless.
Julie Goodyears autobiography to read, she'll be asleep in seconds!
sleepytime tea works for me-ha, made a rhyme,( and another one-sorry )
this site may help http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinf...
good luck!!
What does she do in the evenings? Send her to a swimming club or something, activity in the evening should help her settle easily.
Have you tried Nite all [unsure of spelling] natural herbal remedy.
I would also speak to your doctor with reference to her sleeping habits and your own exhaustion and feelings of desperation.
Don't know of any "Natural" things to take but try the following:
1. cut out all caffeine, no sugery foods after dinner
2. have her do deep breathing exercises
3. get a white noise machine or set a radio to a talk station very low in volume.
4. have her visualize a quiet, comforting place
I have used Tylenol PM but you should check with her pediatrician for dosage and safety with kids.
Oooh, well, pills are not the way to go. If you can get her to drink some herbal tea, especially if it has things like chamomile in it, that helps. Also, no TV at least an hour before bed.
Get her some books. Reading is really calming for kids who learn to enjoy it.
chamomille tea is one. It sounds more like she doesn't wind down well. I would say no TV, music, etc, for at least an hour before bedtime. The milk might actually make it harder for her to sleep, it's like eating a meal.
You may also read the book "The Out of Sync Child" It talks about how some children are seeking input they aren't able to process well. It detail children who can't "wind down" until they've been jumping on a trampoline or have been rolled up like a hot dog in a yoga mat. It satisfies their input needs and allows them to get centered and calm down. (My son was a preemie, so sensory input is a problem we are still managing)
Hope that helps!!
Do not consider any medication!! You could try making sure she neither reads, exercises nor watches TV for at least a half an hour before she goes to bed, these are all brain stimulants. She might try a warm caffeine free drink and either try lavender oil on the pillow or in a pre-bed bath. I am not sure why she should be so exhausted, even if she goes to sleep at midnight and wakes at 7 that is still 7 hours. When I was young I used to get to sleep late and get up early, only averaging about 5 hours and in my case that appeared to be enough. maybe a GP check to confirm there is no pathology, I am more interested in the tiredness than the so called insomnia.
Get an oil burner and burn some lavender in her room an hour before she goes to bed. Get some proper lavender oil from the body shop or a new age shop. It works a treat.
I swear by a cup of tea. especially one formulated to soothe. Tension Tamer, ect. she sounds old enough to settle herself. you should put her to bed and go to sleep yourself. unless you suspect a medical problem her restlessness shouldn't keep you up as well.
try giving her BENERDYLE im not sure if thats how you spell it but this is how you pronoucne it( ben-er-dell )but get the kids verison and follow the dierctions on the back!!
this works so well ooh and heres a little hint give her less than what it says on the back of it then you can give it to her evry day!
my daughter was the same and you might think this is cruel, but one night i let her sit up and told her she couldn't go to bed as she didn't seem to like it there, i turned the TV off and i sat reading, every time she went to fall asleep i woke her up until about 3 in the morning to were you couldn't stand it no more and started to cry, so i explained to her that's how i felt every night with her not going to bed, it did the trick.
Maybe you should contact supernanny!
My daughter has the same problem. We have been giving her Calms Night time tablets which is a herbal remedy. We did this after checking with her consultant. She is 15 so be real careful before giving your child anything. We were advised not to give her Nite Nurse or the equivilant. It is not an easy situation to deal with and not as easy as people think to cure, like you we try everything. Something that helps is not reading but having books on tapes to listen to as she goes to sleep.
i have a 9 yr old my self and to get her to go to bed early was to make her go to bed a few minutes earlier evernight for a few weeks then level off once we got to 9 p.m... we cut off all sweets and caffine seems to work for us. however i know each kids is different. try reducing her bedtime gradually instead of all at once.
Ok well when i was younger i had a sleeping problem and my primary school teacher recommended to my dad (r.i.p) that they just plug a portable cd player (or ipod mp3 or tape player) into my ears and put on some sort of soft relaxing childhood music (for me it was puff the magic dragon tape) And it worked low volume! It doesnt work straight away but with time this should really help.
Hope i helped
Give her some attention before bed time. Talk to her about her day, giving positive feedback and praise for things that she has done during the day, read her a story. Tell her that it is now time for bed. Let her listen to a music or story CD in bed (let her choose which CD) and just leave her to get on with it. She will fall to sleep when she is ready. The less fuss you make the calmer she will be and more likely to relaxe and fall asleep. As long as she is in her bed and not disturbing you then there is no problem. You can go to bed and leave her awake if necessary.
A little lavender oil works well for me - just 2 or 3 drops on a hanky somewhere near the head of the bed. Its got to be worth a try!!
A warn bath drinking chocolate and a few drops of lavender oil on her pillow
Try moving her bed room around ,have some soft lighting ,wall lamps, floor lamps or hanging ceiling lamps ,maybe some draping material to put around the top of the curtains ,and some fairylights round the material some ,nice posters or photos of places you have been together as a family ,happy places and may be a bed tent like a disney castle one. You have to make it that she wants to go to bed to be in this lovely room well good luck it worked for us
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