I wish people would have a bit more confidence in me?

Question:

One of my relations is an alcoholic.
She is trying to get off the drink.
She is due to start councelling next week and she said to me on the phone earlier, "I wish people would have a bit more confidence in me".
I didn't know what to say to that.
She lives 200 miles away. This will be her 1st time on the wagon.
Anyone been in a similar situation?
What practical support can I give her?
Any sensible suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

Answers:
The best thing you can do is be supportive of her and don't doubt her ability to become and stay sober. If she says that just say the only person that needs to have confidence in herself is her. Of course it stinks that people don't have confidence in her but none of them are going to get her through rehab and sobriety so when it comes down to it, it really is only necessary for her to have confidence in herself.

Unfortunately, the harsh reality of alcoholics is that many of them have very low self-esteem and that's part of what feeds into their drinking. (They feel bad like no one loves them or they're worth nothing and they drink to numb that feeling.)

The other harsh reality is that many say they're going to quit/go into rehab/stick to it this time, etc and don't. And the people physically close to her may have heard this a bunch of times from her and just don't believe her.

Again, best you can do is support her attempts. Encourage her. Offer a listening ear when she needs it. And perhaps you can read some brochures/pamphlets/books about being a friend or relative of an alcoholic to get an idea of the type of support you can offer.

Hope all goes well for her.

tell her that you are always here for her if she needs someone to listen, tell her you will be positive for her and that you're proud of her.

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I wish people would have a bit more confidence in me?

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