I have a friend who is an alcoholic?
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Answers:
you indeed are a good Friend!! yes contact the parents.ask them to not make mention where they heard this from even if your girlfriend knows. she will thank you later once shes sober.she no longer is functional. does not go out, does not teach anymore? this is serious. she can only be helped if she wants to help herself. but,with a caring friend like you ,you may just be the one to help her find her way back before its to late or shes worse dead!!!!!!!!be ready to prepare yourself if she gets mad although i would not care or take offense since shes sick that way.also, be be prepared to be by her side ,no matter what. she will need you and you are gifted to care for someone that much. so make the call or write the letter asap. you may not be able to do anything now for her until she gets treatment. then just be there to listen or moral support. thanks Kat
Other Answers:
You should try to talk to her first and then write a letter to her parents or maybe talk to a doctor if the problem is serious
No, leave her be. Stop sticking your nose in places it doesn't belong. If she wants help she will tell you if your that good a friend. Considering tattling on her to her parents is just immature.
With alcoholism no one can help her except herself. It may be worth talking to her parents but I would advise that you do it in phone or by visiting them. Do you know her parents? Telling them may make it worse for her if they aren't supported. Trying talking to her and outlining your conerns. Promise to support her and maybe suggested the aa to her. There is no clear answer. MY best friend is an alcoholic and its a very long road to recovery. No matter how much I wanted to help her, it was up to her to do it.
you might try to tell her parents but be warned that her response to your "helping" her may not be a happy/greatfull one......I used to drink VERY heavily & untill I actually saw for myself what was goin on & wanted to stop drinking nothing anyone else said or did mattered, you can only help those who want your help...my prayers are w you & your friends I hope you can help her to find the happiness that wil set her free & make her want to live
very difficult to help her - normally alcoholics 'bottom out' reaching a point at which they recognise that they cant keep on drinking before they stop or get help quitting.. but thats a unique point for every one. maybe an event will occur to make her want to change. the other thing is she cant really quit drinking until she finds another way top cope with the underlying reason for her drinking, which may be the reason you have identified. a further consideration is that if she is physically addicted to alcohol then it is dangerous to stop without medical advice / treatment
If your friend is drinking due to the abuse she suffered as a child then she is in need of some intensive therapy, for both diagnosis'. When we allow psychological wounds manage our lives instead of getting them into perspective we seek out things such as drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. SHE IS IN PAIN! Help your friend realize that the alcohol is a secondary problem to her abuse, left untreated she is a train wreck, all you can do is watch her derail.
no absolutely not then she would think you are going being her back and that would her. wat you should so love is to talk to her about it let her know what you think and why you think it is affecting her do some research on it and take it to her show her with the help of others she would not have to be suffering all alone. you need to let her make that decisions whether she is ready for help or not cause at the end of the day the decision is hers. but you must stand firm is wat ever you decide .... i must stress again talk to her she needs to open up fully to someone and if you do tell her parents she will not trust you or confide in you again.hope things work out
If you have to time for intervention then by all means do it. She will not help herself. Involve her family and other friends for more support. Also contact Alcoholics Annonymous and other support organizations to help provide you with what you will need to take on this tought job. Be ready and realize this will not be easy by any means. If she has not hit rock bottom yet she will probably not be ready to quit. Unfortunately for most you need to hit the bottom before you can rise to the top. It's sad to see but people do make it back. I'm a perfect example. Sober for over 15 years now. Here's a tip. Video of how I was really helped to open my eyes. I hope this helps you out. Bless you....
its a difficult one seeing a friend turn to booze, or any other dependancy. There is not a lot you can do aside from trying to engage and encourage the person to seek help.
prgrammes like AA are worthwhile, but only if the person actaully wants to make the change themselves. its is pointless coercing or forcing someone to do something they dont want to, they are not children. unless they see a need to overturn te behaviour it wont happen, and that need comes from within not from without. They need to see somethign worht living for.
I wouldn't give up on a friend, but its a long haul, you need to be prepared to be treated like sh1t. A suggestion: try to find things to do that don't involve alcohol - diffcult to do (window shopping, cinema, go to a park, try to develop a bond with the 'new' person. Encourage your friend to see new horizins, mebbe goto a gym, swimming pool, but perhaps most of all show your friend that you care as a friend.
what ever else you do don't make it into your lifes crusade - it will end up dragging you into the mire that is drug dependancy.
You have to help without actually helping!, make sense? - what i think i mean is you have to just try and be there for her and guide her without getting involved in her life.
Trickyk, she hardly 'sticking her nose in', shes just a good friend who's concerned for her friends welfare. It would be a shame if everyone in the world had your attitude and let everyone 'just get on with it'. Then unhappy, ill,people would think nobody cared what they did, which wouldn't help the situation they may be in.
Have you visited your friend? All you can do is love and support her, because, at the end of the day, only she can want to stop and get help, but she might need a shoulder along the way. I think her parents and yourself have to join together and support her. Just don't give up caring, people need to feel cared about.
You can talk to her about it but not her parents. There is nothing you can do for her. She has to admit she is an alcoholic and want to help herself. You can't make her stop drinking.
if its really bad then try them - http://www.stopaddiction.com/#
i know they are known to be extremly good. and there are branched ll over the world
There is a reality TV show in the afternoons dealing with this and other stresses. They are taken to visit places where children have lost everything and the see how to cope by watching.
This is the classic downward spiral of an alcoholic, the only thing you can do is to try to get her to A.A. or to com it her self to a clinic. From the outside you see the problem but from the inside your Friend doesn't alcohol is cunning, baffling and deceitful. DO NOT try an intervention that only breeds resentment. when she reaches her bottom, when she's as low as she can go then and only then can she start to see the one true path. To all who read this say a prayer for those still suffering this malaise. :0
Why on earth would you want to bring her parents bad news?. Also why on earth would you want to tell people on a forum like this that your friend was sexually abused? Can you imagine how she would feel if she knew you had written this?
You cant 'fix' anything for this woman, you can facilitate her when she needs help, thats all. She clearly has issues that need to be addressed and until she wants to address them I would remain in the background and possibly make her aware of the options of help out there for her.
Below are a few sites of interest...good luck!
You can't do anything for her, but accept that she has made the choice to carry on drinking.
Do this with love and compassion and maybe think about getting in touch with AL-ANON family groups. It is an "organisation" that can give you the support you may need.
You may find that as your friends drinking is causing you problems then the help Al-Anon can give you will prove invaluable.
Hi,
I think telling her parents might backfire. Should your friend discover you had done that, she could be your ex-friend. Has she alienated her other friends, or do they still come around? cause if they don't, then losing faith in you could be the last straw.
You say her parents already know she has a drink problem, so they must be unable to provide the help and support this girl needs.
I agree that she does need help to see that what happened to her as a child was absolutely none of her fault, cause adults who were abused as children carry unnecessary guilt with them.
We all have bad things happen to us, just some people seem to have that something inside them that makes them run for oblivion. They do not have the skills to cope with life.
The alcoholics I came into contact with needed alcohol to cope with any situation. Something good,---celebrate with a drink. Something bad,---push it away with a drink,---stayed off drink for a whole week,--I deserve a drink.
So these are two separate issues.
Have you tried to advise her to seek some help from her doctor?
Would it be possible for yourself or one of her friends to contact one of the churches who have recovering alcoholics. We have a couple of churches in my wee part of the world who do that.
They don't come across as holy rollers, just ordinary people who have found a purpose in life strong enough to conquer their disabilities.
Lastly, when you call her, please don't make the conversation all about her problems, chat to her as you would to any of your mates, and try to make your calls quite regular, so she has a lifeline who isn't constantly telling her how to live her life, cause this is how she will percieve it. Guilt about heavy drinking tends to make one extra sensitive.
I do hope your friend finds some release from the torment she is living with.
I think you should put your energies into talking to your Friend and not her parents. t sounds like she needs professional help however if she feels her parents are forcing this help she will not accept it. Her actions are most likely a cry for help so get talking, be that shoulder to cry on and then take the next step in suggesting she seek help
Does your friend want help? All you can do is experss your concerns to her and be available if she wants help. If she is completely out of control you can call your local Drug and Alcohol Council, they may provide interventions, which could include you her family, her employer ect. Good luck!
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