Strange question for anyone who's dealt with facing death. Especially Christians.?
Question:
My question is complicated. Have you faced death as a Christian? My mom is a Christian, so am I. She just found out she has lung cancer, both lungs, very progressed. She probably doesn't have long, has refused treatment. With me so far?
I want to write to her if it will help HER, not so much me. I want to tell her she is forgiven by me for the sins against me. I do NOT need her forgiveness. I no longer plan to ask her about the sins, she will lie or turn it to blame me. If you have ever gotten close to death, would this help? I worry that in her very final hours, she will want my forgiveness?
Answers:
I believe that deep down inside, you know what is right for you to do. I think you should forgive her even if she excepts it or not. God knows your heart and the blood is no longer on your hands if you do all that you know to do. I also think you should love and serve her in anyway possible to help her in her time of need. The Bible speaks on loving in spite of or having the agape or the God kind of love, especial towards your parents (even if they have not been so good to you). God will honor you obedience and your reward will be great in the end.
Other Answers:
you cant give forgiveness that isnt wanted. it sounds as though she doesnt want it. just move on.
She will die a lonely death to the black oblivion that is death. Write the letter. Say it just as you did above. Even if it's just to make you feel better and at peace with her death. Once she is gone there won't be another chance to ask for the forgiveness. Whether or not you get it, you can rest easy knowing that you made that step. Speaking as a child of a lung cancer victim, please don;t delay. The disease is fast and furious and will take her before you know what hit you. Don't miss your chance!
My Mom died a few years ago. here's my advice:
Write the letter and send it if you really forgive her..
If she wants to hear from you she will read it.. if she doesn't want to hear from you she won't.
Hearing you're going to die soon does strange things to people. you might be surprised.
I wish you both the best, whatever happens.
I faced death when I went through three brain surgeries; fortunately I am healthier than ever. I am a definitely Christian. If you want your mother to know that you forgive her tell her. Make peace with yourself. Write her, go see her or whatever you need to do now. State what ever is on your mind. Because once she is gone, you will no longer be able to and it could haunt you for the rest of you life. Good Luck
I think you need her forgiveness more than you realize.
It is very important that you speak with her soon. Her attitude may not be the best as her condition worsens. I believe it is very hard for your mother to be in this situation and she may feel vulnerable.
God Bless You and your Mother!
Sounds to me like you have a great idea. I think the letter is wonderful. I've never been close to death, but most of us have imagined our end and I believe that your idea of a letter of forgiveness would definitely help her. All you can do is hope that she saves it to read over and over. You sound like a very strong person who really has it together. Your mother is lucky to have a daughter like you who is still thinking of her even after the history you mentioned. And when her time does come, you won't have any regrets. You did more than a lot of children would have done given the circumstances. if she does not realize that she has hurt you then she will not want to be forgiven. it sounds like you need to talk with your mom and explain how you feel,but if what she has done to hurt you is not a sin unto death then don't bring it up and just be there for her. if you do dot know you sin then you did not sin. sin is a willful transgression against god and his laws.the holy spirit has to convict you of that sin and only your mom knows if that has happened. ♥♥
Hello,
My mother actually went through a very similar situation with my grandfather several years ago. Like your relationship, theirs had also been one of past abuse, deep hurt, and the subsequent distance that stemmed from these actions.
When my grandfather was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, he actually sought my mother out in order to ask for forgiveness. As you can imagine, she was stunned at this turn of events--and even more stunned at how difficult it was for her to embrace this chance to tell him that she had forgiven him.
While your mother has not made a plea for your forgiveness, I think that a letter of forgiveness--a true act of kindness--would certainly be a blessing, not only for her, but also for you.
As someone who lost her father suddenly several years ago, I would urge you to say anything that you need to say now while you still can. Once a family member passes--whether you are close to them or not--you find yourself questioning what else you could have said, what you should have said.
I think that it would be an eternal gift for you to reach out with forgiveness, and to do so without expectations of any apology or even recognition of past hurt.
All the best to you in whatever decision you make. The simple written words "I love you" leaves no need for the words of forgiveness. I, too, have been abused mentally as an adult, both physically and mentally as a child. I tried so many times to make a relationship with my biological mother. She just kept on with the mental abuse. I, finally walked away and refused to look back, or think of her at all. If she were dying I honestly would feel nothing. So, I could not write the words, " I love you".
I am a mother, grandmother, wife, and friend. I am a Christian, and know that when I stand before God on judgement day he will say I did all I could to honor my mother. I sense that this is where you are. But, I feel that you still love your mother.
God bless
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