Have you given up alcohol because you know you have a problem?
Question:
Do you know someone who did?
Answers:
I drank for 29 years after starting when I was 15. During my teens and 20s, I drank every chance I got, and almost always for effect. I had more than my share of DUIs and finally switched to being arrested for public intoxication after I wisened up and refused to touch any car keys after having even one drink.
In my mid-30s, I married my first wife while I was drinking about 3 or 4 nights a week (she even drank with me on at least one occasion). After we'd been married for about a year, I agreed to cut back my drinking to once every 3 months. After about 8 years, I increased my drinking to about once a week (I won't go into details about why -- it's complicated).
In July 1994 (almost 9 years into the marriage), my wife told me that I had to quit drinking or she would divorce me. I told her I didn't want a divorce, but that I could drop back to once every 3 months, as I had done for the bulk of our marriage. She answered simply, then it's a divorce.
From that time forward, I drank when I felt like it. I wasn't going to dissuade her from a divorce, even if I quit drinking altogether. In about a month, I moved out to an apartment at her insistence, and drank every other day, whether I wanted to or not. I only drank 2 days in a row when I knew I had to time my sobering up to have a scheduled visit with my son.
That lasted through about 4 months until December, when I woke up one morning after having been drinking and playing cards with my friend. I had no particular discomfort to prompt what happened next, nor did I have a conscious thought about it.
Five words popped into my head: "This is stupid. I guit." Just matter of factly. And just as matter of factly, I knew I had quit drinking for the rest of my life.
Over the years since then, I've hardly had the urge to drink, even while having a meal with someone who has a beer or some wine. Although, if my friend is having wine, I do ask to smell it just to get a feel for what it would taste like -- not that I'd want a taste, but this is just an exercise I use to compare it with other wines I had on rare occasions during my 29 years of drinking. Bacardi 151 (proof) and Pepsi, without ice, was my drink of choice for 20 of those 29 years, so wine was not an issue with me.
Since December 12, 1994, I have not consumed or even tasted alcohol in any form. I am living a new life, and trying to rebuild some of my dreams.
By the way: I don't attend AA meetings. I tried that in my 20s and that only made me want to drink all the more. The recipe for quitting is in each of us. Anybody who wants to quit needs to find his or her own recipe. One man's successful steps and timing cannot translate directly to another in most cases. We must each find the recipe and in our own time.
I wish success to anybody who has a problem and wants to change.
Almost every morning.
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