Do i have an eating disorder?
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When you have an eating disorder, it's easy to convince yourself that you are not hungry or that you simply forget to eat when you are instead inflicting control over your life by starving yourself. The "high" people feel when they restrict themselves and forget to eat feels good in the short term, the same as a drug rush or alcohol buzz. However, it's not good for you.
You should be eating 3 well-balanced meals a day. No one is an exception to this, no matter what bullshit anyone tries to feed you. Including any myths or fears or beliefs you've embraced about food to justify they way you are eating, it is unhealthy to refuse your body the fuel it needs to operate and you have an eating disorder.
Obviously, you already have a therapist. What is that for? If you were a perfectly healthy person who had a sunny disposition and took good care of herself, and didn't have issues with your mood and being happy, you wouldn't be seeing a therapist. There's nothing wrong with seeing a therapist, it's just that people who feel genuinely secure and on-top-of-things don't spend their money on seeing someone to help them with their emotional problems.
Depression and an eating disorder go hand-in-hand. Generally, depression is just the frozen and sad state you get into when you're unable to express your anger and it turns inwards on yourself. When you are angry at yourself, or your anger doesn't have anywhere to go, or people treat anger like it's a bad emotion and refuse to listen to you or won't deal with you when we're angry about something, then it can turn self-destructive, and few things are as destructive as an eating disorder.
You don't have to change your eating habits that much. But I would at least make these changes: You need a fruit and a glass of milk with your peanut butter sandwich in the morning. You also need some lunch. A piece of fruit, a glass of milk or yogurt, a vegetable (lettuce doesn't count), and a roll, bagel or bread, with a protien - any type of meat you want - you don't have to have a big lunch, just something from the different food groups. Continue to eat dinner as normal.
Just make those changes to your diet for now - try to get two fruits and two vegetables a day plus two glasses or milk or two cups of yogurt - and continue to talk to your therapist. Especially talk to her about what you are eating, and how you feel when you eat, or how you feel when you're confronted with food.
You might have one. I've had basically the same problem and some people say I do. Are you anemic? Do you starve yourself? Go to the doctor.
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