How can I get my father to care about himself?
Question:
Answers:
It sounds as though he has kind of "given up". Many people with heart problems become depressed and they only think about the world they live in. I know, I have been there and done that before. Tell him how you feel. Your father is still a young man. Ask him to talk with his doctors to see if there is something they can do to help him stopping smoking. As a previous smoker, it is very hard to stop smoking especially cold turkey and alone. He needs support and someone to show him they care and will stand by him and will help him. He is too young to be having these problems. He could feel somewhat better if he would just do things that the doctor suggests. Even play the reverse psychology with him, ask him how he would feel if you ignored your health and did not care about yourself? I know these are not straight forward answers. I truly wish I could help more. It is hard to make someone change. But keep trying, keep trying, and keep on trying!! Let him know you are there for him and want him to be around for you for a long time and for himself!
Best wishes to you.
u need to show him that there is a reason for him to care, u need to show him that u care and want him to be around for a long time. Just talk to him.
That's sad, there is probably nothing you can do. Some people just refuse to change.
My father is the same way- bullheaded! So what you do that I have done and is most effective- is you sit down and you write a letter to him from the heart, no beating around the bush or sarcasm or anger, just out of love and concern and kindness how you truly feel, what your fears are, and that if he doesn't wish to think about himself, then ask that he please think of you, any future grandchildren, you want him to be here for all your special moments, have all the memories a daughter should have. And one last idea for you- go buy him a Bette Midler CD (the one that has the song HERO "Wind beneath my wings" on it) and leave the CD with the letter stating in the bottom letter that you dedicate this song to him- that you want him to please take care of himself. You'd be lost without him. Express this, he may have some idea of this already, but to tell a person something sometimes it just goes in one ear, out the other or they shrug it off or argue. This allows him time to read, absorb and the song will also get through a little more too. I dedicated "Wind beneath my wings" to my dad at our wedding. My dad is 72 now, and he also had a heart attack, years later he had bypass and then 2 yrs ago another scare, now he is on coumadin the rest of his life. Oh, and one more note that scares the crap out of my father is when I tell him, "okay you say when your numbers up, your numbers up?" What if you DONT die of a heart attack instantly, what if you have a stroke and live the rest of your life unable to do anything, unable to feed yourself, or talk?" he then gets quiet.
He doesn't eat right, or take care of himself but when I keep reminding him when I see him how he is itching for that stroke, you can see his face, filled with concern.
I wish you the best, if you need someone to talk to, send me a message, we can keep in touch. Good luck- and remember NO ANGER or FRUSTRATION in that letter. Write it as if these will be the last things that you ever get to say to him- from the heart.
Hugs to you-
More Questions & Answers...