Please help with diabetic boyfriend?


Question:
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm not sure how much of this actually has to do with diabetes but let me try and explain. My boyfriend is 26 and on insulin (shot). He has had diabetes since he was 14 years old and does not take very good care of himself. His eating habits are very great and he doesn't exercise and I think this may be the basis of our problem. We've been together for 5 years and even moved to a big city together. We have had our share of problems but lately things seem to be different. He is mean, angry and defensive. He is very pessimistic but yet will do nothing to work on feeling better. I think he's is depressed but he isn't willing to hear the truth. Does anyone else have this problem with a diabetic? Also, I think he is getting the pump very soon. What can I expect from this? I don't think I can take his attitude anymore. I feel like I'm always supposed to focus on him but my hurt feelings are constantly ignored. I'm so sad lately.

Answers:
Yes, his diabetes can have a lot to do with the way he is feeling. If his blood sugar is not under control then he can show signs of extreme moodiness. Plus depression is pretty common with someone who has a chronic illness. The pump is great, but it is a lot of hard work. I hope that he is willing to do the legwork to improve himself. When I went on the pump, it improved my mood and health dramatically. Hang in there. If he puts forth the effort the pump requires, things can improve. In the meantime, please take care of yourself. You don't want to let yourself fall into a state of depression. We diabetics need support form our loved ones, but ultimately it is our own responsibility to take care of ourselves.
Well, I don't think his anger and aggression have much to do with diabetes. However, he might be frusterated with it. The pump is great, but it doesn't always work exactly the way it should. But 95% of the time...great! It's alot easier. Good luck. And just remember, life's too short, don't waste your time with someone who's a jerk. There are many fish in the sea.
His latest emotional issues definitely could be caused by the diabetes, but they could also be depression like you said. You're obviously not very happy right now either. Try to suggest you both see a counselor together. It sounds to me like you need to have an impartial third party help you to communicate your feelings to each other.

He may be more depressed lately because he is going to be put on the pump. It just reinforces the fact that he is never going to lose his dependency on insulin. It's tough to feel trapped like that, especially at such a young age. Maybe he needs you to help him find a way to voice his feelings. He also needs to know how his actions make you feel.
Depression is a common comorbid (occurs at the same time) condition with Type I and Type 2 Diabetes.

I think having an insulin pump will help him get his glucose readings under better control, which may help his mood. However, there is training and learning involved, and if he is negative about it, a pump may not benefit him as much as it could.

The best thing you can do, is support him in getting some professional help. You may want to sit down and have a conversation with him about how his mood and lack of care for his own body affects you and him both.
If he does not start taking control of his diabetes, it is very likely that he will develop complications that will lead to loss of quality of life, or loss of life.

Be supportive and let him know that you are truly just trying to help, since you don't understand what it feels like to be diabetic yourself, but don't want to see him die as a result of his condition
I don't much about diabeties but if you love and want to stay with your boyfriend learn about it through visiting websites. I know that a diabetic person mood will change when there levels are low, that could be contributing to his attitude.

I would tell him this
I love you and I know that you are going through alot with this disease, I want us to work, but my feelings are really getting hurt here. Can I come to your doctors appt with you so I can understand whats happening and always I can tell your doc what I notice, because of course you don't notice your mood changes just those around you.

Before you do this go online and do some reserach
normal/abnormal insulin levels
mood changes
insulin pump
how to take care of yourself as a diabetic

Your feelings are hurt, but be sure to remember that he could be in physical pain, and never being able to do what other kids do had to be hard.

Be patient
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