My little sis has cancer and I want to tell her but I can't...HELP??
Question:
(My mom works at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center where the biopsy was done, so she has direct contact with my sister's doctors)
The mom say's the doctor has to be the one to tell her and give her all the medical mumbo jumbo, but they won't tell her for another 2 weeks!!!
My sis and I are extremely close! we have NEVER kept anything from each other
NEVER!!!
So it's so hard for me to keep this secret..My mom say's it's because it's because she has to live a normal life and not stress out until the doctors know what the next step is supposed to be.
I feel as though I'm keeping something from her that she really wants to know, she told me she has the feeling that something is wrong cuz she hasn't been told ANYTHING about the biopsy yet. (she is 21 but still very sheltered and juvenile)
Answers:
Why would your mother have told you this information when she knows your so close and later if your sister finds out you knew two weeks before she did I think she would be upset. I have cancer and would be furious if I was not told about it as soon as possible. I also shocked they would make her wait two weeks before telling her, my doctor received the biopsy report and called me immediately to come in.
Talk to your mother and ask her why she had to tell something like this with out giving you the go ahead to tell your sister. It's wrong to hold back information. Once I was diagnosed the surgury and treatment started so fast I really felt that things were moving so quickly and I just went along with everything the Doctors said, now I'm sick with chemo and I wish I had more information because there is nothing worse than not having enought time to learn about your own disease and how you want to deal with it. Good luck and my heart is breaking for your whole family. I would tell.
The doctors telling your mother this information without permission from her adult child is unethical. Your sister is a legal adult and this information is confidential. Your sister can call the hospital and demand this information. Your mother and whoever told her this information could lose their job for breach of confidentiality, especially since she has shared this information with you.
First off, I am so sorry to hear about your sister! My sister and I are close as well, but personally I would wait for the doctor to tell her. Be Strong and find out as much information as you can, so that when she does find out you can be there for her in every way. Good Luck and my family and I will keep your sister in our prayers!!
yes it is the right thing to do in this case because the doctors have a way to tell the patient and can answer questions and calm her if she can't control hearing about it. What if you tell her alone and she falls apart mentally , can you calm her done and tell her what kind and how fast if moves and what her chances are for recovery? After she knows is when she is going to need you the most then you can tell her what you hear from the doctor and she can handle it . You would be taking a big chance if you told her with out your mother being there. I would respect your mother's wishes at this time, she has worked there a long time and been thu a lot of these kinds of situations, let her be herself for now , don;t give her the bad news before she has to know , let her enjoy the time before she knows for sure and don't up set her until she has to be told. This is only my opinion, so you kind of pray about it and if you were her , would you want to know for sure before you had to?
Yes NOT telling her is the right thing to do, as sisters, brothers, family our role is to support and guide are loved ones through difficult situations but we have to do this with a feeling of responsiblity for the mental and emotional state of others, you need to tell her because that would get it over and done with for you, but in the aftermarth what position and what kind of expertise do you have to help her. When the doctor tells her...he will be in the right position to do so and will actually pave the way for you to play your role of support.
don't tell her...just yet. cause i've been in similar situation. from the looks of it (i.e. u mention that she is kinda sheltered and innocently juvenile) you should just let the doc tell her. but perhaps u cud give her a few hints. step by step and slowly. so she doesn't spiral into the depth of hopelessness. my sister died a few years ago. they told her she had cancer. she took it all calmly cuz they told her about it in stages. good luck.
It is unfortunate that the doctor's are going to wait before they tell your sister and it leaves you with the burden of knowing, but there is a bright side. Although it's hard for you to understand Cancer there are millions of people going through this everyday. Please know that modern medicine is awesome and during this time you should be doing some side research into support groups that would help. You'd be amazed how many groups are out there. Or you could start building a support group of your own consisting of all of her friends and family. This is something that could help during whatever treatment she decides is best. And it will give your mind something to focus on as well. Keep in mind that she is an adult and she may or may not welcome your efforts during this time. Anything is possible.
I am a cervical cancer survivor, it really was not big deal, and I am sure your sister will be OK. However, your sister is an adult, she has a right to know. And your sisters doctor violated HIPPA laws by telling your mother.
I think that telling her would make things worse, the doctors are trained to tell patients information that they may not want to hear, they can tell her what her options are for treatment, You are not in her shoes, and cannot understand how she will feel, burdening her with this information with out hearing the treatments will only make things worse. I know, I am in her shoes, I have sat on your side of things also, with my mother and father. Please if you love her let the doctor's tell her the news, they have the experience, She will need all the support when she is told, from her family- that is when she will need you. God Bless.
First of all, all I can help is to pray for your sister to be healed.And only one know's and He is "Jesus" our lord .Let's just pray for your sister..
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