How do you cope with family member under going chemotherapy?
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It is important to remember that your step-father is going through a very stressful time. He will encounter physical and indeed psychological changes. He has to accept initially that he is effected by a potentially life threatening illness, and the only way to stand a chance is to undergo a very evasive and toxic treatments like Chemotherapy. He will also have to deal with a whole host of complex emotions that can change quickly and are dependent upon the support network that is available to him. It is very important that your step-father talks about his feelings with someone who is independent such as a McMillan Nurse or a psychologist most cancer centres have one attached to help for emotional support. Furthermore, changes in behaviour are common place and are usually aimed at those who are closest to the patient in this case your mother. It is nothing personal but something that often manifests in clients who are coping with such complex conditions. If your step father is willing to talk about his emotions then his clinician should be able to make the necessary referral. An occupational therapist can also help by looking at ways to manage their illness and there is nothing wrong to ask for help. Now is not th time for a stiff upper lip. No matter what, I understand that this is a very difficult time for all involved and I hope that you all find some peace and solace. I have dealt with cancer both in a proessional capacity and also through personal loss and know the difficulties that you are going through.
You just have to learn to hate the diease that has caused all this and love the person it is happening to. Good luck my prayers are with you.
You just have to-there is nothing really you can do since it really isn't his fault & the poor man is going through hell!All you can do is talk to the kids and make sure they are extra considerate at this time.You need to have the patience of a saint and have to be emotionally at your strongest.Maybe have a quiet word with the doctors and nurses treating him to see if they have any advice?
Just try and take a time out here & there,your Mum needs to get out of the house even if it's just for a 5min walk to the corner shop-just to take a breather.
If you need anybody to talk to you're welcome to email me.
A few years ago I lost my Granddad to cancer. He underwent chemotherapy to put it into remission but sadly it did not work.
It sounds like your step-dad is very angry at the moment with the world and his life in general. All i can suggest is that you be there for him and let him have a bit of a shout every now and then. Why not sit him down as a family and explain how he is making you all feel and talk about it and ask him how he is feeling at the moment.
Why not suggest a family holiday somewhere in the UK as well where you can get away and just be together as a family and have a bit of fun to try and forget your problems for a few days.
I wish you all well xXx
Hi im anurse on a cancer unit and we see this a lot. If your mum and your family are finding it hard speak to your macmillan nurse and maybe get your dad into a hospice for respite just to give your mam some breathing space and a chance to rest. It is important that she has rest and sleep to be able to keep her pecker up. Also it mite be a good idea so that the docs can have a fiddle with his drugs and maybe give him a better combination that has less side effects. Hope this helps a bit Paulaxxxx
trust me its not easy i should know i have a mother in chemo and my husband there is meds the doctor can put him on to help with this but the doctor cant do this unless he knows about the problem when it started with my husband the doctor was the 1st to know and he put him on a depression pill and that was the end of that same thing with my mom hang in there and talk to his oncologist next time
I know what you mean.. my brother in law is usually a very calm, funny person. but since he's had brain surgery, radiation, chemo, and a load of other medication, he's sense of humor has changed.. he seems to get upset about everything and you don't see him smile as he normally does..
we just have to learn to get use to it.. they are not the same person..
i don't live with him, but is hurts me so much to know he's got a brain tumor.. God willing and with all the prayers my brother in law and your step dad will be survivors.. just try to be a bit patient..
good luck and just pray.. pray ... pray..
I coped by internalizing everything, which fortunately I do well--not a good solution, however for most. The first time my father went through chemo & radiation he turned into an absolute pill. Despite telling yourself that it is the medication that is causing the anger, it does little to help cope. Try to find someone neutral with whom your father can talk and vent some of his frustrations. With him just being able to talk about it may go far to help improve his mood.
Others might disagree with this, but I once snapped back (which is extremely rare for me) and told him, "enough already" and he calmed down some afterwards. This may sound cold to do, but sometimes a line needs to be drawn.
I don't know what services are available in your country. But, I would check to see if there are services available for caregivers. Some services will offer to have someone come to the house while your mom can go out and do something to pamper herself. Often these services will be free. She will need breaks as often as she can get them. His change in mood will eventually come to pass.
Sorry to hear about your fathers illness and your mother's "burden," so to speak. I know how rough it can be.
you will probably find its just because he is really frightened, with something like cancer they just cant guarantee you are going to be ok after the treatment. im afraid they say you take it out on the people you love the most because they will always forgive you, its going to be hard on all of you for a while, until he actually accepts that cancer doesnt always mean death, lots of people do actually get better. you just need to be really patient and reassure him as hard as it when hes in such a mood, you sound like a really caring girl, you will deal with things ok, after all the fact you called him dad firstly means you care honey, good luck, take care things will get better trust me x
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