Should my dad get counseling?

Question:

This is sorta like my previous questions, but I have more details. This does make me really scared sometimes. I used tp have an arrythmia when I was a kid. My Dad, who isn't a doctor bought a stethoscope to listen to my heartbeats. Well, I'm eighteen and I'm his daughter. He still does this and sometimes he does this when I'm sleeping. He'll put the stethoscope under my shirt, which sorta makes me uncomfortable. My mom gets upset about it, but he says that I am his daughter and that he has a right to listen. Like I know he loves me, but I've said no. My heart is fine now, but he still wants to hear my heartbeat. Should he get help, maybe counseling?

Answers:
No, he does not have the right! You have the right to say "NO!" It's your body and your health. You should have control of who does or does not touch you. Anything that makes you uncomfortable is "OK" for you to say no to. Just because he is your dad does not give him any special right to do this. He is not qualified to make any determination concerning your health. He is abusing you, maybe or maybe not for his own gratification, but it is abuse.

Tell him that you love him and appreciate his concerns, but enough is enough and that this invasion of your privacy must stop NOW! You can hide or destroy the stethoscope. If he makes a fuss tell him that it will stop or you will call the authorities. If he attempts to put you out of the house tell him "no, I will report you". Your mom is on your side. You just need to stand up to him and put an end to it.

This is a form of abuse and sounds to me like sexual abuse. You are the only one that can put an end to it. I'm sure you love your dad and don't want to get him in trouble. But if he does this to you, what may he be doing to others? Your father needs help. Sexual abusers don't just stop on their own.

You also probably need help to deal with this issue. If you don't get that help you may find that you have many difficulties later in life. I strongly suggest that you seek help in the form of counseling. Your doctor should be able to help you find a good therapist. Nothing you say to your doctor or a therapist can be told to someone else. Please for your own emotional health, talk to someone.

Terry

Say what? And you have gotten lots of answers to your other questions about this same thing.

No, it is not all right. No, he does not have "the right" to listen. Do not let him do it anymore----you are an adult and you can have him charged as a sex offender.

Do not let your father do this anymore. No matter your age, he is not allowed (no anyone else for that matter) to touch you in ways that makes you feel uncomfortable. If he does not stop I suggest you talk to law inforcement about it. Keep records as well.

You sound like you're sixteen. If you ARE eighteen, get the hell outta there fast.

Most childhood arrythmia's tend to fix themselves when you grow up. Unless your doc has said you still have problems, and are taking meds for it, it's probably self-resolved. NO it is NOT ok for your dad to be doing that! He needs help. I know you love your dad, but if he continues to insist on putting his hands under your shirt, he can go to jail! If he does this, what else is he doing, who else has he done this to? Do you have any brothers or sisters? Ask them if they're experiencing anything similar. You need to put a stop to this NOW!
http://www.medem.com/medlb/article_detai...

First of all, your dad can only get counseling if he believes he has a problem. Not if YOU believe he has a problem. He has to be the one who is willing to go.

That said, you asked if it is okay for him to listen to your heartbeat. If it during the day while you are awake and he asks you if he could listen, and you say yes, then it is okay. But if you feel uncomfortable with him listening to your heartbeat then no, it is not okay. Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable is not okay.

Maybe your dad has this illusion or fantasy of being a doctor and listening to your heartbeat while you sleep fulfills this wild dream. In any case, even if he does have a problem he is the only one who can make the decision on whether or not to go to counseling, not you or your mom.

If you or your mom have tried telling him to stop and he doesn't then maybe you guys should try to change the lock on your bedroom door.

ur dad DOES NEED HELP. he isnt a dr, so how can he tell anything with a stethoscope anyway. tell him u feel unc onfortable wit his actions. if he insist and keeps doing it, tell the dept. of childrens health. this is called sexully battery, and is aganst the law. i know u dont want to do anything to hurt ur dad, but u must stop him any way u can. eve if u must call the police before somethink worst happens. god bless

Should my dad get counseling?

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