When alcohol consumption becomes too much.?


Question:
I am a young adult who is away from home to attend college, but comes home for breaks. Ever since I was little my father has always been a drinker, but it didn't really catch my attention until a couple of years ago. My grandmother passed away (his mother) and almost since then he has been drinking a lot more. My father has always been on anti-depressants for some things that have happened in the past, and has many health issues such as insomnia, diabetes. Recently, I have noticed that every time I see him he either has a beer, a mixed drink, or both in his hand. When ever we go out to eat he never just orders a soda, it is always an alcoholic drink. He is a high school teacher, and doesn't drink when he is working, but as soon as he gets home from work, he goes right to the fridge for a beer. I am extremely worried about him but every I go to talk to him, he denies it and gets mad at me. My mom ignores the whole thing. What can I do cuz I am afraid he is gonna get liver diseas

Answers:
It sounds like your father is using drinking as a crutch to overcome his problems, and you are right to be concerned,
When a person denies their drinking in anger it is usually the start of a problem, Sadly you can not make a person stop drinking.
Your best resource right now would be to discuss this with your mother, maybe she does not know that alcohol is a depressant and causes people with depression to sink in deeper. There are a lot of web sites that discuss depression and alcohol, If your Dad is in treatment for depression with a therapist you may be able to speak with them about your concerns, but HIPPA is pretty strict about that.

You could check into ALANON they are a support group for people with loved ones who drink, they could help with literature to help your mom understand what your Dad is dealing with.

Maybe extra visits when you can, and spend time with him so he will not forget how special he is to you, and read up on the depression/alcohol connection so you will be ready to support him when he needs it.

Good Luck
My father is an alcholic,
and it sounds to me that yours is too
but there's really nothing you can do about it make make him stop... you'd have to have an intervention
my dads drinking was one reason why my mom divorced him because it changed his personality, I havn't noticed it but he's been drinking since before I was born,
try to get your whole family in on it and have an intervention, and have every one talk to him about it...
sadly, the only thing you can do is share your fears with your dad in a loving way. instead of telling him he's drinking too much, try telling him how you're concerned that consuming alcohol on a daily basis could damage his liver. especially, if he's diabetic, he shouldn't be drinking much at all. it could affect his blood sugar levels. being on antidepressants, it's said to avoid alcohol. the alcohol could affect sleep patterns as well. if he thinks there's no problem, there really isn't much you can do. i'm sorry, i know how scary it can be. good luck.
Sorry about this re: ur Dad.Sounds like ur parents are in complete denial...Perhaps you could go to an AA (Al a non) Meeting for the "vicitms" of those who see loved ones behave this way, and they could point u in the right direction. I hope this helps. A lot of alcoholics do mask their pain with their booze, which becomes toxic to their system. You are a great person for being so concerned. There also may be a hotline you can call in re: to ur question. GOOD LUCK & TAKE CARE!
When people "have to have a drink" (like your Dad), they have a problem. They are an alcholic. And your Dad denies it because he is an alcoholic and your Mother ignores it because she is an enabler or co-dependent.
Just tell him you are concerned and that you hope he takes care of himself for your sake. You'd like him to be around and in good health for a long time to come. Alcoholics have to WANT to HELP THEMSELVES. You can't make them. Remember that. You must save yourself. He is an adult and makes his own decisions. He is only hurting himself right now ~ and maybe your Mother. But she is letting it happen. Tell her too that you are concerned. Then leave it at that. YOU, yourself can't do anything about it. Alcoholics have to want to "stop drinking" themselves.
If he has diabetes and is taking antidepressants, he should not be drinking at all. I would think you could call the doctor who prescribed the meds and tell him/her about your father's drinking, and they could talk to him about it. Unfortunately, he won't change unless he wants to. You should take care of yourself and not feel responsible for fixing your dad.
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