If your bathroom scale could talk, what would it say?

Question:

Answers:
- How would you like it if I ate a bus and stood on you??

- Why are you always on top?

- Why don't you just SIT on my face next time? I'm sure your *** smells even better!!

- Did you know that I'm the only one who can see that tiny thingy??

- UMPH, How'd you fit through the door??

- I only fear that you will need me for lunch meat and make a sandwich out of me next time. Hippo.

- I guess there's safety in NUMBERS!!

- Well, my wheel's spinning, does yours even turn anymore?

- Don't you EVER F#%@&!$ DO THAT AGAIN!

- Can't you WARN me next time?

- It's only been a hour since the last time! Can't you let me sleep you buffalo??

Other Answers:
loose 10 pounds

Get off of me.

wow... you just gained 5 pounds...

Get off!!

D*#$!

It wouldn't hurt you to skip a meal, lady.

You're Fat!
I can See Up Your Legs!
You Have a Tiny Nut Sack!
Do you shave down there?

You sir are a sexy b i t c h.

Keep up the good work!

Could you please spray!!

it will say "I'm hungry"

please! get off of me your killing my back!

It would laugh at me

One person at a time please!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL...seriously. I'm not Kate Moss thin, but then I don't look like *shudder* Edna either

2 words: odor eaters

ouch, get the hell off me you , youre hurting me!

"HELP"...I can't breathe

wow what happened to the fat girl

You're looking good today....please don't destroy me........

Why do you have to put me in the stinkiest room in the house? The entryway table has a pretty cake life if you ask me. I hate you.

Actually I don't even own a scale.

geh oufff meh nooooozze!

try again in 2 weeks! :)

OOF!

"You know, that whole 'I just had a baby' excuse is quite tiring. Might I suggest laying off the daily bag of cheddar popcorn and intermittent Krispy Kreme binges as a start?"

How lovely and slender you are my dear!

tilt. I have always been thin. Until I got married and stopped running. I would like to lose 10-15 pounds. I am 6 feet tall, but my height has not kept up with my weight. I weighed 98 pounds as a high school sophomore(I wrestled and had to make weight) 175 would be ideal, but life isn't ideal, so I cover my eyes when I get on the scales. Does defeat the purpose though.

Maybe eating another doughnut would make you feel better about how fat you are.

It would groan in the most pitiable way, that I literally jump off and don't even look at the figures...lol
I definitely need a scale that is more user friendly and cheerful...one that will talk back to me, encourage me or give me hell when I keep adding the pounds.
But then, do we really need more stress in our lives by having a talking scale? lol

i think you need to loose a few pounds mate...and tone up for god sakes!!

Get the hell off of me before I call the cops.

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If your bathroom scale could talk, what would it say?

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