If you have an ex who hates you and wants to take your child by court proceedings and your teenager says yes?

Question:

Have a 15 yr old. Found a "surprise" in their room. Have an ex who is willing to use it against me to the fullest extent he can. Teenager doesn't know I know. I haven't told the ex. Teenager and myself aren't talking because of other parental issues besides this teenager chose to live with other parent probably because teenager is a good manipulator amoung other things. How can I get teenager help yet without ex knowing? Should I tell ex when we are at court so teenager is "forcibly" tested and we all get it done? Will I be at fault because teenager was in my parental control when it was found? Should I just not say anything and teenager will know because room was cleaned. Shall I wait until it is continued and something else worse happens? Will I be considered unfit? I NEVER knew about it. I got rid of it IMMEDIATELY. Only teenager and I will know shall I make teenager think my ex knows? It won't stop this teenager because the signs were there but teenager was very sneaky. PLze Help

Answers:
Perhaps it's true you found contraband in the teen's room.
However, going to court and then making that known will basically make you look like an ineffective parent right there.

This teen needs intervention/treatment one way or another. I suggest you sit down with said teen and have a frank discussion about how you're going to approach this. Hopefully with proper guidance and dialogue this teen will see that it doesn't pay to do whatever he's been doing. Life is too short to proceed in messing up one's background. Explain that (if it's drug use) and if caught there can be criminal repercussions which can affect him securing employment in many places (health care, military, banking, teaching, etc). He needs to think a little further into the future. m

It's up to you to take that first step to see about treatment.

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If you have an ex who hates you and wants to take your child by court proceedings and your teenager says yes?

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